As a parent, my husband and I have developed a few go-to responses for one of the most common yet irritating childhood complaints: “I’m bored!” When we first hear it, our response is simple: “Great! Stay bored.” When it becomes a repeated mantra, we might add, “Boredom is a sign of impatience and ignorance, and it’s not my job to fill that void.” In short, I genuinely don’t care when my kids express their boredom. However, my attitude hasn’t always been this way.
In the early days of motherhood, I believed I had to fill every moment of my children’s day with enriching activities. I was convinced that idle time was detrimental to their development and that my role was to keep them constantly engaged. I thought that if they were left to their own devices, they would simply sit and stare at walls or the ceiling—an outcome I deemed unacceptable.
Then, as I welcomed more children into our family, reality hit hard. I found myself overwhelmed with laundry, meals, and the daily chaos of parenting. My kids’ complaints about boredom began to fade into the background noise of my life. I stopped paying attention to their cries of “I’m bored,” and, surprisingly, this shift aligned with established advice from child psychologists and educators.
What is that advice? It’s essential for kids to experience true boredom. Research increasingly supports this notion, especially in today’s tech-saturated, overscheduled environment, which seems to contribute to rising levels of anxiety and stress among children and teens. Our well-meaning attempts to keep their minds occupied are, in fact, leading to mental overload.
School days, which should foster creativity and growth, often lack sufficient recess or free play, exhausting young minds and bodies instead. After-school activities and homework further restrict their downtime, leaving kids at a loss when they finally get a moment to relax. Their “I’m bored” outbursts signal that their brains have lost the ability to engage in creative, independent thought—what neuroscientists refer to as the brain’s “free-form attention network.”
Lea Waters, a psychologist, illustrates this concept well: “Think of it like your computer running too many programs. It slows down. When you close those programs, it speeds back up. The same applies to a child’s mind.” Just as computers need to reboot to perform optimally, children require downtime to foster their mental capabilities. This unstructured time allows them to choose their own activities, or lack thereof, without adult interference.
In our household, when boredom strikes, there’s no guidance or direction from me—just an eye roll and one of my standard responses. If you’re ready to embrace your child’s boredom for the sake of their mental health and development, it’s crucial to remain consistent and united with your partner about the importance of downtime.
After a few months of letting your kids sit with their boredom, you’ll likely find that they begin to entertain themselves, which is something every parent can appreciate. If you’re interested in exploring more on topics related to parenting and family dynamics, check out this resource on artificial insemination for insights on family planning. For an authoritative guide on infertility treatments, visit this excellent resource on IVF.
Summary
Encouraging children to embrace boredom can foster creativity and mental well-being. By allowing them to experience unstructured time, parents can help their kids develop the skills needed for independent thought and self-entertainment. This approach not only benefits their mental health but also creates a more harmonious family environment.