As someone who has battled anxiety for much of my life, the thought of becoming a parent stirred a mix of excitement and trepidation. My wife and I were eager to welcome children, but I was deeply concerned about passing down my anxiety to them. It’s a common paradox: those of us with anxiety often find ourselves anxious about the very possibility of our children inheriting that same struggle.
I have three kids—ages 10, 8, and 3—and I tend to keep a close eye on them. Parents, especially those with anxiety or depression, often feel the need to monitor their children closely to ensure their safety. However, recent research from Australia and the Netherlands suggests that this overprotective approach might inadvertently contribute to anxiety in our children later in life.
A study conducted by researchers at Macquarie University’s Centre for Emotional Health, in collaboration with the University of Amsterdam and the University of Reading, surveyed 312 families with preschool-aged children. The results were revealing: parents who engaged in what they termed “Challenging Parent Behavior” (CPB)—which includes encouraging safe risk-taking through activities like rough-and-tumble play—had children with significantly lower levels of anxiety.
As a father to two daughters and a son, this study made me reconsider how I interact with my children. While my son and I easily engage in playful wrestling, my daughters often prefer more imaginative play, like transforming pumpkins into carriages. They adore Disney Princesses, while my son is drawn to action-packed video games. Consequently, I often approach play with my daughters more gently, but this could be detrimental to their mental health.
Interestingly, a follow-up study from the University of Newcastle found that girls enjoy rough-and-tumble play just as much as boys. Professor Sarah Jenkins, a co-author of the study, noted that many fathers—myself included—realized we had been treating our daughters like princesses, sometimes to their detriment. It’s a wake-up call to recognize that engaging in physically active play can be beneficial for their emotional well-being.
While the second study predominantly focused on father-daughter dynamics, mothers are equally capable of participating in roughhousing. I’ve witnessed my wife engaging in playful antics with our son, proving that the responsibility for this kind of play shouldn’t fall solely on fathers.
Moving forward, when my daughters come into the living room dressed as princesses while I’m wrestling with my son, I plan to invite them to join in on the fun. Maybe I’ll creatively frame it, suggesting that their brother has transformed into a dragon that we need to conquer together. I don’t want to stifle their interests in princesses, but I do want to find ways to incorporate more vigorous play that could benefit their mental health.
In summary, treating our daughters with gentle care is well-intentioned, but it’s essential to balance that with opportunities for adventurous play. Not only does it foster stronger relationships, but it also equips them with the resilience needed for life’s challenges.
For more insights on parenting and family dynamics, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Johns Hopkins Medicine. Additionally, if you’re looking to boost fertility, you might find this post helpful. For authoritative information on this topic, visit Modern Family Blog.