Parenting
By: Taylor Johnson
Date: March 17, 2018
I adore my son, but at times, he can be quite a handful. As a four-year-old, I don’t hold it against him; he’s naturally stubborn. There are moments when he refuses to listen, and frustration mounts when things don’t unfold as he wishes. It can be quite a lot to handle.
Despite my best efforts to stay calm, there are instances when I reach my limit. In those moments, I realize I need to take a step back to collect my thoughts and regain my composure. This way, I can be the parent he truly deserves and avoid saying or doing things I might regret later.
It’s completely acceptable to walk away from our children occasionally, particularly during high-pressure situations that test our patience.
Initially, I struggled with guilt the first few times I chose to walk away. I remember one particularly intense battle over brushing teeth; my son was wailing in the bathroom, and I felt my frustration bubbling over. Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I recognized how fierce I must have appeared to him, and I froze. This was not the kind of parent I aspired to be. So, I paused.
“I love you dearly, but Mommy is feeling really frustrated right now, and I need a moment to calm down,” I told him. “I’m going to step into another room for a bit.”
I exited the bathroom, leaving him to cry. That distance allowed me to decompress and strategize my next move without completely losing my cool. Once I felt calmer, I returned to him and engaged in a constructive conversation about his feelings and how we could resolve the situation together.
When I was composed, it helped him to settle down as well. Children are highly attuned to our emotions; they can sense our anger, which often heightens their own anxiety. By taking a breather, I provided him with the space he needed to calm down, allowing us to work toward a compromise. There’s little sense in trying to reason with a child – or even an adult – who is already overwhelmed. They often can’t see beyond their own frustrations.
“Please don’t leave me,” he pleaded, tears streaming down his face. His words hit me hard. Did he interpret my need for space as abandonment? I never left him for long, but for a child, a few minutes can feel like a lifetime.
I hesitated, almost staying in the room, but then he exhibited behavior that pushed me closer to my breaking point. My anger multiplied; I was frustrated with him and disappointed in myself for not being more patient.
Perhaps I was indeed abandoning him during those moments when he was feeling his emotions intensely. Maybe I should learn to face him and his little red face while he cries. I’m his mother – if I can’t manage these moments, how can I expect him to learn to express his anger in a healthier way?
But you know what? It’s nonsense to think that stepping away makes you a bad parent. If your child is acting like a tiny firecracker, you have every right to take a breather and get your mind straight. We can’t prioritize their frustrations over our own – that’s not healthy for anyone. You shouldn’t force yourself to endure if you feel you’re on the verge of losing it.
When my son tested my limits, I almost resorted to spanking, which I absolutely oppose. Feeling helpless, it seemed like the only way to make my point. I realized that I needed space to prevent any unnecessary trauma for both of us.
Let me reiterate: taking a moment for yourself doesn’t make you a bad parent. In fact, it demonstrates good parenting when you acknowledge your need for a break. Parenting can be incredibly challenging. We’re human; there’s only so much we can endure before we reach our tipping point.
It’s far more beneficial to lose it in private – where you can yell, jump around, and even punch some pillows – than to explode in front of your child. With a clear mind, you can develop a better plan to address the issues at hand rather than creating more chaos. Our kids will be fine with a temporary upset over our need for space, especially when they see us return composed and patient.
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In summary, it’s healthy to step away from your child when frustrations rise. Taking a moment to regroup not only benefits you but also your child, allowing both of you to return to the situation with a clearer perspective.