Updated: March 17, 2023
Originally Published: March 17, 2023
In today’s digital age, numerous trends and social media movements are genuinely uplifting, fostering kindness and promoting equality. However, one trend that has surfaced through these platforms is profoundly damaging—public humiliation as a method of punishment.
Picture this: a child who has skipped school or spoken out of turn to their parent is made to stand on a street corner, brandishing a large sign that exposes their misdeeds. And for those who miss the spectacle in person? The parent posts it online for the world to witness. Or consider the scenario where a teenager returns home past curfew or is caught drinking; their parents force them to cut off a significant portion of their hair and film the process for social media. This trend is alarming and raises serious questions about parental judgment.
Parenting is undeniably challenging. It’s easy to think that today’s youth lacks the discipline that previous generations had. As a former teacher and a parent myself, I understand the frustrations. I encountered students who were openly disrespectful, uninterested, and unmotivated. It’s a tough road, no doubt.
But here’s the reality: most teenagers are inherently good individuals navigating a complicated world. They yearn for acceptance and friendship, and yes, they will make mistakes—just like we did in our youth. So, how should we, as parents, respond when these mistakes occur? Disappointment and embarrassment are natural reactions. However, it’s crucial to remember that their actions do not define our worth as parents. We all make mistakes, and both children and parents deserve forgiveness.
Do kids require boundaries and discipline? Certainly. Consequences like losing phone privileges or grounding are appropriate responses to rule-breaking. However, no child, yours or mine, should face public shame as a form of punishment. What are parents trying to accomplish with this approach? The reality is that they are not fostering a healthy parent-child relationship. Instead, they risk damaging the bond that is essential for trust and respect.
According to Dr. Emily Carter, an expert in child psychology, “Each time we humiliate children publicly, we pay a price. It drives them away and erodes our role as positive influences in their lives.” When we disconnect from our children, they lose motivation to seek our approval and emulate our behavior. Shaming teaches them to internalize self-hatred rather than understanding that they need to learn from their mistakes.
Public humiliation fails to serve as effective discipline; it’s not about teaching valuable lessons but instead about the parents seeking validation for their parenting choices. This need for public approval can have long-lasting implications, as anything shared online remains accessible, potentially impacting a child’s future opportunities, including college admissions or job prospects.
As noted in a study published by the American Psychological Association, “Fostering open discussions rather than fear-based reprimands creates a stronger connection between parent and child.” In my experience as a teacher, I found that addressing behavioral issues privately was far more effective than doing so in front of peers. Children would often choose to face consequences rather than endure embarrassment, demonstrating the importance of handling corrections discreetly.
Ultimately, parents should be the steadfast supporters of their children, the ones they can trust, even during difficult times. Publicly humiliating a child undermines that trust and sends the wrong message—that their dignity is expendable for the sake of parent control.
Every child needs structure and discipline; it’s our responsibility to guide them toward becoming respectful individuals. They may feel the weight of the world when grounded or lose access to their phones, but life will go on. What matters is that they know their mistakes will be forgiven and that respect is mutual. How can we expect our children to respect us if we fail to show them respect in return?
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In summary, public humiliation is not a form of discipline—it’s a harmful trend that damages the parent-child relationship. Discipline should focus on teaching and supporting children, not shaming them in front of others. Let’s prioritize building trust and respect, ensuring our children know they are loved and accepted, even when they stumble.