Updated: August 29, 2023
Originally Published: March 15, 2023
As I scroll through my social media feed, I often come across parents proudly sharing their children’s achievements. They post beaming photos of progress reports, highlighting their kids’ perfect grades and glowing teacher comments about their diligence and kindness. Their children seem to excel effortlessly, earning awards for attendance, academic excellence, and other accolades that celebrate their status as outstanding students.
Meanwhile, I find myself feeling a pang of sadness for my son, who faces ongoing challenges in school. Each week, he anticipates recognition that never comes, overshadowed by classmates who naturally fit the mold of what the school considers a diligent student. My son works twice as hard just to achieve results that others find easy, and despite his consistent efforts, he remains unrecognized. He struggles daily to maintain focus and sit still, yet he persists with resilience every single day. Unfortunately, there’s no award for sheer determination.
Throughout his six years in the school system, only one teacher has truly seen my son’s potential and expressed admiration for his unique abilities. This teacher, who also has a child with ADHD, left me in tears during a parent-teacher conference when she shared her appreciation for my son’s deep thinking and intelligence. Just one teacher out of many, reflecting a broader issue that children with ADHD face: according to leading experts, by the age of 12, they receive 20,000 more negative messages than their peers without the condition.
Every day, my son hears that he’s doing something wrong. He faces reprimands for behaviors often beyond his control. While educators promise to support his success, the reality often looks like shame and loss of privileges for his inability to conform to the expectations set for him. Instead of understanding his condition, they attribute his challenges to a lack of willpower, as if he can simply choose to focus better.
Children with ADHD do not need to be “fixed.” They require understanding and acknowledgment of their unique strengths. I urge teachers and school leaders to recognize those students who struggle in silence and don’t fit the conventional mold. It’s essential to celebrate their hard work and effort, even when the outcomes differ from those of their peers. I hope they can consider alternative awards that appreciate the perseverance of children who may never receive the traditional accolades. Education should embrace diversity in learning styles.
To all the parents of these incredible, hardworking children who may simply be different: let’s remember to express our pride in their efforts. We shouldn’t feel pressured to discipline them based on feedback that makes them feel inferior or diminishes our role as their advocates.
And to the educators and administrators: don’t overlook our children. Look deeper, even when they seem to be hidden in the shadows cast by their peers. Recognize their individual strengths and the progress they make within their capabilities. That’s all we ask.
For further insights on parenting and navigating challenges like these, consider checking out resources like this one from Modern Family Blog and Mayo Clinic’s guide on intrauterine insemination. Also, if you’re interested in expanding your family, you might want to explore options like the home insemination kit available online.
In summary, it’s vital to support and uplift children with ADHD, recognizing their efforts and unique contributions, even when they don’t fit the typical success narrative.