Parenting
In a recent conversation with my son, I asked him to respond “as a human.” As I voiced those words, I questioned whether my expectations had sunk so low that I needed to remind him of something he naturally embodies. However, in today’s social media landscape, where adolescent minds grapple with constant comparisons, it’s crucial to not only acknowledge this need but also actively teach it.
Having been cautious about smartphones myself, I’ve noticed how they can affect mood and self-perception. As a therapist working with teens and young adults, I frequently hear how social media influences their daily lives. I’ve observed clients, without prompting, share how eliminating Snapchat from their phones significantly improved their morning moods. They also mention feelings of insecurity that arise when scrolling through photos of their peers’ friend groups. Just mentioning “friend group” resonates with any teen, often triggering the familiar pang of longing for acceptance and belonging.
The backdrop to this discussion involves a recent incident at my son’s school, where two high school girls were involved in a physical altercation. I recalled witnessing similar events at his age—overwhelming, frightening, yet hard to look away from. My son, thankfully, wasn’t there, but many bystanders resorted to what they know best: they filmed it.
When he showed me the video that had circulated on Snapchat, I heard the nervous laughter of onlookers, reminiscent of a crowd at a concert. I felt a wave of empathy wash over me; these teens would likely carry this experience with them for years to come. Would it become a source of trauma? How would they process their emotions moving forward? I know from experience that trauma shifts perception, turning once-familiar environments into sources of anxiety.
I was relieved when my son mentioned he planned to check in on one of the girls involved, expressing genuine concern. I hoped she had someone to help her navigate her feelings through this ordeal. The next day, I casually inquired if the incident was still being discussed at school. My son responded with a series of humorous edits to the fight video, complete with captions and animated effects. While I understood the attempt to make an unsettling event more palatable, I felt compelled to remind him: it’s okay to feel scared, sad, or overwhelmed. Don’t shy away from those emotions.
We often hear that cellphones strip away our ability to be vulnerable. Instead of confronting feelings of awkwardness or loneliness, it’s all too easy for teens to escape into an app or a game. Just last month, a segment on The Today Show highlighted the potential effects of screen time on adolescent brain development and emotional health.
As a therapist, I see firsthand how individuals turn to their devices to numb discomfort and seek validation through likes and views. Yet, I also witness the strength that comes from embracing vulnerability. Allowing oneself to experience discomfort can lead to growth and resilience. By facing uncomfortable feelings instead of suppressing them, we cultivate emotional maturity.
Thus, I will persist in encouraging my children to embrace their feelings, regardless of how painful or embarrassing they may be. They will learn to endure discomfort and emerge stronger. For more insights on navigating these topics, check out this resource on fertility treatment, which offers valuable guidance.
In summary, fostering vulnerability in our teens is crucial. It helps them navigate their emotions in a world inundated with social media pressures. By encouraging them to feel, we equip them with the tools to confront challenges and grow from them.