By: Sophie Martinez
Updated: Aug. 17, 2019
Originally Published: Feb. 27, 2018
“I feel like I’m a superhero.” That simple statement sparked a spirited debate during a family barbecue. My husband, David, turned to me with wide eyes, exclaiming, “Are you implying that I do nothing?!” That was certainly not my intention.
What began as a harmless comment quickly escalated, leaving me feeling guilty. Why was he so upset? The situation spiraled into a discussion about unrecognized efforts from the men and the overwhelming workload of the women present.
My point was straightforward: while David is a caring, supportive, and engaged father—truly a wonderful partner—his daily contributions simply don’t match mine. This isn’t a slight against him or his role as a father; it’s just a fact. It baffled me that my “superhero” remark was interpreted as an indication that I undervalue his efforts.
My mornings kick off at 6:15 a.m. with the blaring sound of the alarm, waking me from a mere five hours of sleep. By 6:25 a.m., I’m in full chaos mode, preparing breakfast while simultaneously locating my daughter’s school uniform and lunch box, all because I didn’t plan ahead. Time seems to fast-forward at the most inconvenient moments. Before I know it, I’m frantically dressing, grabbing clothes that barely match, and calling out to my daughter for the third time to hurry up and finish her breakfast. One final check of her backpack to ensure she’s not wearing pajama bottoms on Sports Day (that was a major faux pas).
By 7:30 a.m., I’m sprinting out the door with half-done hair, desperately trying to avoid being late for school. It’s a point of pride when the security guard congratulates me on my punctual arrival. Keep in mind, my workday hasn’t even started yet.
Now, let’s look at David’s morning routine. He wakes up at 7:00 a.m., showers, dresses, spritzes on some cologne, and strolls out the door. Simple and efficient.
After a long day, I return home at 7 p.m. to find the living room transformed into a play area, with toys, art supplies, and my makeup scattered everywhere, while the Disney Channel plays in the background. At least dinner is ready. Thirteen hours have passed since I woke up, and I’ve been on the go the entire time. On my lunch break, I even manage to run errands. I can only hope that my daughter has completed her homework, but to my frustration, both she and David are waiting for me to start.
At 9:15 p.m., exhaustion sets in. I read her a bedtime story, waiting for her to drift off while lying next to her. Meanwhile, where is David? Relaxing on the couch, enjoying Netflix. Honestly, I can’t recall the last time I watched something on TV that didn’t have a “Y7” rating.
We carve out some couple time before he heads to bed, leaving me alone to regroup and catch up on emails, writing, and a little meditation until, finally, at 1:30 a.m., I decide to call it a night. And at 6:15 a.m., the cycle begins anew.
This may sound like I’m criticizing David, but that’s not the case. He picks up our child from school, plays with her, prepares meals, and assists with homework most of the time. If I raise my voice enough, he might even tidy up before I arrive home. It’s not that I don’t appreciate him; it’s just that he gets to enjoy more time for himself and the space to recharge, relying on my “superhero” status.
Mothers tend to take on more because of an innate desire to ensure our children are nurtured in every way possible. We strive to give 110% of ourselves, driven by a selfless love for our children, even as they grow older. As active members of the workforce, we aim to excel in our careers, often pushing ourselves beyond our limits to achieve our ambitions. In our roles as partners, we yearn for strong, loving relationships with our significant others. As caretakers, we aspire to maintain orderly homes, clean kitchens, and made beds (which is often wishful thinking). On top of that, we seek to cultivate fulfilling social lives with friends who will listen as we vent over a few glasses of wine.
We desire to have it all and strive to do everything to the best of our abilities, often at the expense of our own well-being. Balancing the various demands of life can be daunting, complex, and, frankly, exhausting. So yes, we are indeed superheroes—not in a way that diminishes anyone else’s role in our lives, but as a recognition of the extraordinary tasks we undertake. The unique powers that come with motherhood are both rewarding and challenging.
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Summary:
This article explores the often unrecognized burden of mothers in comparison to fathers, highlighting the daily challenges and multitasking that moms face. It emphasizes the selfless nature of motherhood, the desire for balance in life, and the acknowledgment that being a mom comes with its own unique set of superpowers.