By: Emily Carter
Updated: Feb. 23, 2023
On Monday, Jake’s high school conducted an active shooter drill.
By Tuesday, I learned that Jake struggled significantly during the exercise.
On Wednesday morning, I had an extensive conversation with his school case manager, who explained the adjustments they were beginning to implement.
That same afternoon, tragedy struck as another high school in Florida experienced a devastating shooting, claiming the lives of 17 students.
Jake has never found the active shooter lockdown drill to be manageable. While he copes well with tornado drills, the active shooter scenario was an entirely different story. He remained in his seat, not because he wanted to, but because it was PE time, a moment he yearned to spend running around and playing basketball. Yet, he stayed put.
Jake screamed—an ear-piercing sound that brought one of the vice principals into the classroom in an attempt to soothe him, but by then, it was too late. He screamed.
He cried, tears streaming down his face. He cried.
He remained in his seat, unable to quiet himself.
This brings to mind one of the most heart-wrenching episodes I’ve ever seen, the M*A*S*H finale, “Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen.” In that scene, Hawkeye breaks down while recounting a traumatic memory on a bus, where soldiers are outside looking for anyone to kill. A woman holds a chicken that suddenly goes quiet. The dialogue is haunting:
Hawkeye: “There’s something wrong with it. It stopped making noise. It just–just stopped. Sh–She killed it! She killed it!”
Sidney: “She killed the chicken?”
Hawkeye: “Oh my God! Oh my God! I didn’t mean for her to kill it. I did not! I–I just wanted it to be quiet! It was–It was a baby! She–She smothered her own baby!”
The imagery haunts me as I think of Jake in high school, unable to remain silent when danger looms.
Yes, the school is actively working with him for the next drill. They are modifying his schedule to alleviate stress and ensuring he has access to a computer with headphones, allowing him to focus on something else while remaining hidden. All of these efforts are commendable.
But what if it doesn’t work? What if he freezes in his seat? What if he screams again? What if this time, it’s not just a drill?
My mind races with thoughts I’d rather not entertain.
Tomorrow is Monday, and Jake returns to high school.
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In summary, the impact of active shooter drills on students like Jake often goes unnoticed, highlighting the critical need to address their unique challenges and emotions during these distressing experiences.