Recently, I stumbled upon a blog post by a woman expressing her frustration over constantly having to remind her husband to tackle household chores. This sentiment isn’t unique; it’s become a familiar theme among many women who feel as though they are raising another child instead of sharing responsibilities with an adult partner.
I have friends who can’t enjoy a night out without receiving a barrage of texts asking where the snacks are, how to prepare dinner, or which toys belong to which child. I know a mom who, during the infant stage, was always the first to wake up on weekends while her husband stayed asleep. How did this become the norm?
Part of the issue lies in our tendency to discuss the negative experiences in our relationships rather than the positive ones. Women often unite over the little annoyances that their husbands present. A casual eye roll and an exasperated “Men…” can spark instant camaraderie at the grocery store. However, we rarely share the good things our partners do, and I understand why—nobody enjoys hearing someone brag. But by solely focusing on the negatives, we set a dangerously low standard for our partners and inadvertently encourage a culture of complacency.
Let’s be honest; we all compare ourselves to others. It’s human nature. While venting can be therapeutic, it’s equally important to balance our conversations with positive anecdotes. Men are just as capable of managing household tasks and parenting duties as women are. Yes, I said it. It’s time to acknowledge that they are our equals, not our dependents.
So, gentlemen, if there are dirty dishes in the sink, don’t wait for a reminder—pick up a sponge. If laundry is piling up, head to the washing machine. And if the baby needs a change, grab some wipes and dive in! They need to learn to take initiative without relying on constant direction. If they seem out of practice, it might be time to step back and allow them to figure things out on their own. When they inevitably come to you asking why the laundry hasn’t been done, respond with, “Oh, I thought this was your week since I did it the last 635 times.”
If you’re always setting the bar low, it’s no surprise that they’re coasting along. If every time your husband does a chore, it feels like a monumental achievement, then he’ll start believing he’s doing you a huge favor. Spoiler alert: he’s not.
I know men can step up because my partner exemplifies what it means to be a supportive husband. I’m not saying this to boast. He has his flaws, and we have our disagreements, but we don’t keep score on who does what. I don’t have to remind him to help out. He’s a grown man, and I am not his caregiver. When I go out, I never get a call asking for help; he can handle it. Adults should manage their responsibilities, and while we appreciate each other’s efforts, no one earns brownie points for simply doing their part.
We shouldn’t have to babysit grown men while juggling our own responsibilities, especially with little eyes observing our every move. If you’re teaching your children about equality and empowerment, those lessons should be reflected in your home life. My kids don’t view chores as “women’s work.” They see both parents engaged in daily tasks. They watch me prepare dinner, but they also see their dad cleaning up afterward. They notice that while I may handle the nighttime wake-ups, their father takes them downstairs in the morning to let me rest.
Ladies, unless your husband is kneeling in gratitude every time you wash a dish or change a diaper, it’s time to stop throwing a parade for every little thing he does. If you have a partner who contributes equally, share those stories! There’s no shame in celebrating the teamwork.
Let’s set a higher standard and remind ourselves that our partners can rise to the occasion when given the chance. They can be pretty fantastic when we expect more from them.
For more on household and parenting dynamics, check out this insightful article on the roles in the family. If you’re interested in pregnancy and home insemination, this resource from the NHS is also excellent. For an alternative approach, consider exploring the BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit.
Summary:
This article discusses the importance of holding husbands accountable for household responsibilities, suggesting that women should stop treating them like children. It emphasizes that men are capable of sharing equal responsibility in parenting and chores, and advocates for a shift in conversation towards positive recognition of their contributions.