When it comes to parenting, one undeniable truth stands out: it truly takes a village. Whether it’s a friend stepping in to pick up my kids from school during unexpected traffic jams, neighbors bringing over soup and Gatorade during a flu bout, or an experienced parent offering a few kind words to a frazzled newcomer, support from others can make a world of difference. Motherhood can be a relentless challenge, and a little assistance now and then is not just appreciated, it’s sometimes essential.
However, there are moments when the so-called “help” you might offer can actually feel patronizing to a mother doing her absolute best. I’m referring to you, LUCY. You remember my three kids and me at the pharmacy last week, right? We were the ones waiting at the CVS counter while I sorted out an issue with my insurance. It was a long day filled with errands—dry cleaning, the post office, and grocery shopping—all while trying to wrangle my energetic four-year-old.
As I stood at the counter, I periodically glanced back, reminding my children to sit still, keep their voices down, and maintain personal space. Sure, it was a challenging ten minutes, but we managed. I apologize for holding up the line; I understand the frustration that can cause. My children were a bit lively, but they were being kids—not misbehaving animals. So, when I got to the car and learned that you had taken it upon yourself to discipline them, my feelings ranged from disbelief to outright anger.
You were behind us in line, and despite being only a short distance away, I completely missed your unsolicited intervention. Did you think I was unaware of their behavior? Did you assume I needed assistance? Most importantly, did I ever ask for your help? It’s one thing to lend a hand when needed, but it’s another to impose your parenting style on someone else’s children.
Let’s be clear: I appreciate genuine offers of help. When my kids were infants, having someone assist me to my car with bags or holding the door open while I maneuvered a stroller was invaluable. But you crossed a line, LUCY. My children are not your responsibility. Please do not instruct them to say please or thank you, or to sit still.
Instead, how about you take a seat and let me handle my kids? You don’t know them, and it’s not your place to correct their behavior unless they’re being harmful. You may excel as a parent—maybe your kids are perfect little angels—but that doesn’t give you the right to showcase your parenting skills at my expense.
If you disagree with my parenting choices, that’s fine. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine. My kids may not be perfect, but they are loving and kind, and that’s what matters.
If you genuinely want to help, I might consider it. But don’t you dare chastise my children from the back of the line while I’m just a few feet away. I gave birth to them, and I will be the one to guide them through their antics in public. That responsibility—and the glory that comes with it—is mine alone.
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In summary, while assistance can be a great asset in parenting, unsolicited advice and discipline from strangers can cross a line that many mothers find unacceptable. It’s essential to respect boundaries and allow parents to manage their children as they see fit.