Parenting
By Jessica Lee
Updated: November 28, 2023
Originally Published: February 8, 2023
As a parent of a three-year-old with a speech delay, I have encountered numerous challenges in communication. My daughter, Amelia, has made great strides in her vocabulary since enrolling in a specialized preschool program, yet she still struggles to form complete sentences. This often leads to a frustrating game of twenty questions when something goes awry.
A few weeks ago, Amelia began expressing her discomfort with the darkness in her room at night. It’s common for children her age to develop fears related to shadows and the unknown, so I had no qualms about providing her with a small night light. Everything seemed fine until one night when she suddenly erupted into a scream that sent chills down my spine.
When my partner, Nathan, rushed in to investigate, Amelia pointed at her bookcase and, with wide, terrified eyes, uttered the word “ghost.” Both Nathan and I are open to the idea of spirits, so we didn’t dismiss her fear or belittle her experience. Nathan gently carried her to the bookcase, attempting to show her how the shadows were merely products of the night light. However, her distress was palpable. He eventually returned her to bed and stayed with her until she calmed down and fell asleep.
After doing some research, I found that many experts recommend encouraging children to talk about their experiences or even draw what they see. The following morning, I sat down with Amelia and asked if she could share more about this ghost. To my surprise, she readily identified the spirit as a girl. When I inquired about her size, Amelia described her as small and mentioned that she wore a green shirt. She struggled to recall the color of the ghost’s hair but did clarify that the ghost only appeared in the dark.
When I asked if the ghost was friendly, Amelia replied firmly, “No.” At that moment, I felt a wave of anxiety. I asked if she would draw the ghost for me, and she agreed. As she colored, she mentioned “no hands,” and I probed further. Amelia revealed that the ghost had “cut” hands and “no arms,” explaining, “Broke. Boo-boo.” Now, not only was there a ghost in her room, but it was also a wounded spirit. She even attempted to write the ghost’s name, which sent me into a panic while I quickly texted Nathan for support.
We decided that we would both stay with Amelia until she felt comfortable during bedtime that night. We also opted to switch to a brighter night light. I reassured her repeatedly that she was safe, mentioning the dream catchers and jade figurine in her room meant to offer protection. Despite my reassurances, Amelia remained visibly anxious.
We inquired further about what frightened her, and she simply pointed to the corner under her train table, declaring, “Ghost.” Nathan knelt down and told the ghost to leave, but it did little to soothe Amelia. In an effort to empower her, I suggested placing her dinosaur toys around the table for protection. She liked this idea and helped me arrange them. Gradually, Amelia became more relaxed, and after a few more minutes, she settled down for the night.
I’m uncertain how long this ghostly saga will persist or whether her dinosaurs will be enough to ward off the spirit. One thing is for sure—I’m hardly sleeping. Every sound from the monitor or whimper from her room sends Nathan and me racing to check on her. I even woke her up this morning and suggested we get ready in the living room, locking her bedroom door behind me.
Children claiming to see ghosts is not uncommon, and how you respond is a personal choice. While it’s essential to validate their fears, it’s equally important to reassure them of their safety. If bedtime takes longer than usual, exercise patience for their sake. Once they’re comfortable enough to sleep alone, consider researching ways to create a peaceful environment for them. I’ve heard that sage can be effective in clearing negative energies.
Summary
When your child starts seeing ghosts, it’s crucial to engage with their fears compassionately. Encourage them to express their experiences through conversation and art while reassuring them of their safety. Creating a calming bedtime routine and exploring potential solutions can also help ease their anxiety. For additional insights on parenting challenges, check out Modern Family Blog for expert advice, or explore Healthline for valuable resources related to home insemination.