In the words of journalist Claire Adams, “The expectation for working mothers is remarkably clear: act as if you don’t have children while parenting as if work isn’t a factor.” Our mothers and grandmothers paved the way for significant societal changes. They rallied, protested, and championed women’s rights, including the right for women to contribute financially to their families. Their efforts have led to women comprising nearly half of today’s workforce. In fact, in Canada, over 75% of women aged 25 to 54 are employed.
As the next generation, we benefit from the opportunities they fought for, instilled with the belief that we can truly have it all. This mindset has driven many of us to pursue higher education and professional qualifications in unprecedented numbers. However, as we break through barriers in our careers, we still find ourselves juggling disproportionate responsibilities for child-rearing and household chores. As a working mother, I often wonder, “Is this really what they envisioned for us?”
The notion of “having it all” often translates to doing it all. We feel the pressure to excel in our careers while ensuring that our parenting duties don’t interfere with our professional lives. We strive to be deeply involved in our children’s lives—volunteering at school, coaching sports teams, and creating those enviable birthday celebrations. Simultaneously, we tackle the cooking, cleaning, scheduling, and social engagements, all while trying to maintain our fitness and nurture our relationships.
It’s a precarious balancing act, and one unexpected event—a sick child or a work crisis—can send everything spiraling. After five years of navigating this complex world of parenthood, I’ve come to realize that something has to give. We cannot do it all, and it’s time to stop pretending we can. Our mothers and grandmothers fought for our choices, not for the burden of perfection or endless obligations.
We can choose to dive into a demanding career while delegating household responsibilities. Alternatively, we can opt for a part-time position, accepting that our professional ambitions might take a back seat for a while. Some may decide to embrace self-employment, which can make it challenging to disconnect or take real breaks. Others might choose to stay home, knowing it could impact future earning potential. Each option is valid, yet none are easy.
It’s essential to release the unrealistic expectations of a spotless home, homemade treats for bake sales, or regaining our pre-baby bodies. Focus on what truly matters to you and let the rest fall away. The comparison game is relentless, but striving for unattainable ideals only leads to frustration.
In an ideal world, achieving work-life balance wouldn’t just be a buzzword. Flexible work arrangements wouldn’t hinder career progression, and parenting responsibilities would be shared equitably. Until we reach that point, we must stop exhausting ourselves in the pursuit of the elusive “having it all.” For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out this article on our blog. Additionally, for those exploring fertility options, consider reading about in vitro fertilisation as a helpful resource. If you’re interested in starting a family, explore this artificial insemination kit for more information.
In summary, let’s redefine what it means to “have it all” by acknowledging our limits and making choices that prioritize our well-being and happiness.