I Really Need a Break — Here’s Why It’s So Difficult to Get One

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Parenting can be a whirlwind, and sometimes, I find myself longing for a moment of peace. When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with my second son, I jotted down a title for a blog post: “Mom Needs a Break.” Unfortunately, that was as far as I got before succumbing to exhaustion. Now that my baby is six months old, I’ve revisited that title and realized how many parents would resonate with this sentiment.

How often do we find ourselves exhaling deeply after a particularly chaotic moment, like when our toddler throws a fit over a blue cup instead of a red one? We think, “I really need a breather before I lose my mind.” Yet, as parents, genuine breaks seem elusive. I don’t count the brief window of time when I put the kids to bed early just to catch a few minutes of a TV show. Nor do I consider an evening out with my husband while our kids are at grandma’s a true respite.

There’s always that nagging voice in my head reminding me of the responsibilities waiting for me: the early wake-up call to feed the baby or the ever-growing list of chores, like gathering tax documents or moving laundry from the washer to the dryer.

When I envision a break, I think of a real escape — a week away from the endless responsibilities. I want to forget about laundry, cleaning, feeding, bathing, and the late-night interruptions from a child’s accident. I even wish I could take a break from letting the dog out for the umpteenth time in a day.

A Quick Disclaimer:

I adore my children more than anything in the world. I would do anything for them.

I remember the first time my husband and I had a break, just three months after our first son was born. We arrived at our hotel and simply lay in silence on the bed. It was pure bliss. However, it’s been far too long since we’ve enjoyed a kid-free getaway. While our family vacations are wonderful, they also come with their own demands, like early mornings and constant childcare.

Don’t get me wrong; I cherish my time with my kids. Yet, I can’t recall the last time I lounged by a pool with a book, free from the stress of a baby monitor. I feel so tightly wound. Are other parents like this? Please tell me I’m not alone in feeling this way.

For just one week, I long to wake up without worrying about a child’s cries. I want to take long showers, enjoy silence, watch TV sprawled out on a bed without a child on top of me, and eat meals without little hands reaching for my plate. I want a week where I don’t have to do laundry, change diapers, clean up messes, or think about overdue cleaning tasks. I want uninterrupted conversations with my husband, without a tiny human interrupting us with requests.

Is wanting a break selfish? I don’t believe so. A little time away is essential for maintaining our sanity and recharging our batteries. To be the best parent I can be, I need to take breaks.

I’ve committed to taking a break in 2023. I plan to escape with my husband, indulge in long showers, read a book, and enjoy dinners that don’t involve a high chair. While I know I’ll miss those little hands and the chaos after a day or two, the time away will be worth it. After all, I devote my life to raising these little humans, and everyone deserves a timeout now and then. Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

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Summary:

Taking breaks as a parent is challenging yet essential for mental well-being. While the responsibilities of parenthood can be overwhelming, finding time to recharge can ultimately make us better caregivers.