Most of us are familiar with that iconic moment in “When Harry Met Sally,” where Sally demonstrates how to convincingly fake an orgasm. It’s a scene that highlights the lengths some women will go to, especially when they’re just not feeling it — whether it’s due to exhaustion, hunger, or the unfortunate reality of being with someone who lacks the skills in the bedroom. So instead of engaging in a lesson on effective techniques, many women choose to create an illusion: moaning, biting their lips, and whispering sweet nothings like, “Oh yes, right there,” just to wrap things up and move on with their day.
But did you know that men can also play this game? Contrary to popular belief, guys don’t always have the stamina or desire to stick it out until they reach their peak. While they may not have perfected the art of faking it like women, men have their own reasons for giving off the impression that they’ve reached climax. In a study conducted by Léa J. Séguin, a budding sexologist, and Robin R. Milhausen, an associate professor at the University of Guelph, researchers surveyed 230 men aged 18-29. The results revealed that, on average, these men admitted to faking an orgasm in about 25% of their sexual encounters.
In speaking with several male acquaintances, their responses echoed the familiar sentiments we hear from women. For instance, Mark, 34, recounted, “I’ve done it a few times, but there was one time in particular when things were taking too long, and I just wanted to be done.” Similarly, Alex, 40, shared, “I faked it last year because I was utterly exhausted after being sick.” Meanwhile, another friend, Jake, 37, recalled faking it during a lackluster college encounter, stating, “I was getting bored and losing my erection, so I thought it was better to just fake it.”
Interestingly, the majority of men I spoke to claimed they were either drinking or simply didn’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by admitting they weren’t going to finish. According to the study, the primary motivation for men to fake orgasm was to spare their partner’s emotional state, highlighting a shared understanding between the sexes. As Séguin and Milhausen noted, “Feigning orgasm to support a partner’s emotional well-being was associated with higher levels of desire.”
Ultimately, it seems we’re all navigating the same waters. Both men and women engage in this unspoken agreement, and as long as it doesn’t negatively affect the quality of your intimate life, is it really an issue? There’s no need to take it personally when both parties occasionally opt for a quick exit. There’s absolutely no shame in saying something like, “That was enjoyable, but let’s grab a bite and call it a night,” especially when both partners can look forward to another chance.
And if you’re exploring other avenues of intimacy, you might find our guide on couples’ fertility journeys useful. For additional insights into this topic, check out this valuable resource. If you’re looking for more information on pregnancy, the World Health Organization offers excellent resources as well.
In summary, both men and women have their reasons for faking orgasms, often to protect their partner’s feelings. This shared experience reflects the understanding that sometimes, it’s perfectly fine not to reach the finish line together — and that’s okay.