It’s taken considerable reflection and therapy to reach my current state of mind. Everyone warned me that parenting comes without a manual, and they were absolutely correct. After three years in this role, I’ve learned that children don’t need extensive instructions; they simply require food, affection, and naps.
However, adults? They are the real puzzle. Why don’t they come with a user guide? This lack of clarity is one reason I sought therapy, which has proven to be one of the best decisions I’ve made. I’ve spent countless hours at that proverbial baggage claim, trying to make sense of the people who have caused me pain or frustration. I’ve learned to process my emotions, embrace my feelings, and ultimately let things go.
And believe me, I’ve gotten quite skilled at it. I can bend my mind in all sorts of ways to understand others’ perspectives, allowing me to reach a place of forgiveness. But there’s one group of individuals I will never comprehend or forgive: those who completely disregard my children.
It’s disheartening to discover that this experience is more common than I initially thought, as my therapist confirmed. I’m baffled by how these individuals can live with themselves. While I know I shouldn’t dwell on their actions, I feel compelled to express my feelings today.
To those who vanished from my life once I became a parent, I have one burning question: What is wrong with you?
Can you genuinely claim to love someone for years, even their entire life, only to ghost them once they have a child? Do you expect me to believe you ever cared about me when my heart is invested in my children, and you choose to ignore their existence?
If you didn’t want to be part of my world, that would be understandable. I’m far from perfect; my humor can be over the top, and I’m notoriously late. But you tolerated all of that. You stood by me as a friend and family member through thick and thin, only to become mysteriously unavailable when my firstborn arrived. Why?
Initially, it stung. All I wanted was to share my joy and introduce you to my beautiful little one, convinced you would fall in love with them. Look at this amazing life I created! Yet, my calls went unanswered, and visits were never planned. I’m not asking you to dedicate your life to my children, but a little acknowledgment would have meant the world—after all, they are a significant part of my life, and you claimed to love me.
But I’m not hurt anymore. I refuse to wallow in self-pity because the reality is clear: if you’re too self-centered to appreciate the joy these children bring, that’s on you.
And trust me, it’s a monumental loss.
So, let me fill you in on what you’re missing: My son’s laughter is like a sweet melody, and his hugs can instantly uplift your spirits. He has a sharp sense of humor that rivals many adults, and his well-timed jokes are pure comedic gold. As for my daughter? She’s a whirlwind of energy, exploring the world one curious step at a time. The sound of her tiny feet pattering across the floor is a soothing balm for my soul. If you feel indifferent to this, that’s honestly quite unfortunate—for you.
You opted out of our family just as the story was getting exciting. You took your overpriced souvenir t-shirt and left before the best parts unfolded. And I truly feel sorry for you.
These children are remarkable, and they possess immeasurable love to share. After much personal growth, I’ve come to this conclusion: to those friends and family who ghosted on the most wonderful kids in the world, if you lack the interest to get to know them, then you simply don’t deserve to be a part of their lives. It’s as straightforward as that.
And I genuinely hope you find happiness in your life. Because we certainly will.
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