In today’s world, we often say labels don’t matter. We’re all unique individuals, right? That’s the narrative we keep hearing. We’re told to break free from labels and stereotypes and carve our own paths. But here’s my conundrum: why do I absolutely despise the term “girlfriend”?
I’m in my mid-30s, and he’s in his mid-50s. That’s an 18-year age gap, for those keeping score. We’ve both been down the marriage road before, so this isn’t our first relationship rodeo. We’re both adults who are still figuring things out, and when we refer to each other, “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” just feel… off. Seriously, we’ve had long discussions about it over dinner.
So who exactly am I? A teenager with a curfew? A college student cramming for finals? Meanwhile, he’s certainly not some awkward young guy trying to sneak me into the backseat of a car. (He rides a motorcycle, which, let’s be real, is way cooler.)
I’m a grown woman, and I want something that fits better.
Don’t get me wrong—we’ve tried alternatives. When I’ve called him my partner, I’ve been mistaken for a lesbian. There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but that doesn’t apply to me, which made for an awkward conversation when I had to clarify. Imagine the confusion! Then there’s “significant other,” which sounds overly formal and cold. “This is John, my significant other—yes, I love him deeply, he’s just, you know, significant.” It feels strange, right?
Sometimes, I let repairmen and nosy neighbors think we’re married. Sure, I’m his wife, except for the glaring differences in our last names and the absence of wedding rings. But when the time is right, I fully expect him to put a ring on it. (I might even break out into a dance inspired by Beyoncé when he does!)
Then there are terms like “lady friend” or “gentleman friend,” which sound a little too risqué for family gatherings or parent-teacher meetings. He affectionately calls me “Baby Girl” from time to time (yes, I blush), but if I referred to him as “Big Daddy,” my mother would faint, my kids would have a ton of questions, and his coworkers would think unprofessional thoughts. Way too much trouble, and frankly, it’s a bit too reminiscent of Blanche from The Golden Girls, who, let’s be honest, was fabulous but a bit over the top.
He’s definitely not my sugar daddy, and I’m not his sugar baby. (If you’re unfamiliar with that term, a quick Google search will enlighten you—but make sure the kids are out of earshot!)
We always circle back to “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” even though it makes me cringe. So what’s next? We have two choices: get used to it, or get married.
Since we’re on our own timeline and figuring things out together, getting married just for a new label feels pointless. I guess we could try to accept the situation, at least until the next time he introduces me as his girlfriend. I can’t promise there won’t be a loud primal scream heard across the globe.
Honestly, someone needs to come up with a new term—one that fits our unique situation, and that of others navigating life with previous spouses, new loves, and a reluctance to tie the knot just to fit a mold.
For those interested in alternative family planning, check out our post on the at-home insemination kit. It’s an excellent resource for navigating family dynamics. Additionally, you might want to explore boost fertility supplements for those on the journey. And for further insights on insemination, Hopkins Medicine offers great guidance.
Summary:
The term “girlfriend” feels too juvenile for a relationship between two adults with a significant age difference and past marriages. Alternatives like “partner” or “significant other” come with their own complications, and the familiar labels just don’t seem to fit. As we navigate this relationship, perhaps it’s time to redefine the terms we use to describe our connections.
Keyphrase: “alternative relationship labels”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]