This past weekend, I celebrated my 35th birthday. I treated myself to a soothing massage—essentially a few much-needed hours of solitude—followed by a cozy celebration at home with my husband and kids, indulging in some scrumptious cake.
Gone are the days of raucous birthday parties with friends that lasted until dawn. In my mid-20s, I reveled in those carefree nights, blissfully unaware of hangovers and the financial burden of preschool tuition.
These days, I find joy in quiet, intimate gatherings at home. This is who I’ve become; my life revolves around nurturing my little ones every day, and I seize every fleeting moment of peace I can find.
This reality is why I’m not actively seeking new friendships (aside from my social awkwardness and the fact that forging mom friendships can be challenging). There simply isn’t enough time for new connections. I struggle to maintain the friendships I already cherish.
I can’t count how often I’ve suggested hanging out, only to let those plans fizzle out because I’m not great at following through. With kids aged 3 and 5, I’m perpetually exhausted.
These days, my preferred way to socialize is curled up on the couch, chatting with friends via text or social media. It allows me the flexibility to support my kids while still engaging in conversations—without the need to dress up!
I value my friends—they are the family I’ve chosen over the years. These individuals have stood by me through life’s ups and downs. However, even they must take a backseat to the needs of my family and, admittedly, myself.
Whether I encounter a fellow mom at the park or through the PTA, I know deep down that forming a close bond is unlikely. My emotional bandwidth is stretched thin, and I’m already at my limit.
Want to grab margaritas on a school night? I’ll be busy with homework, dinner prep, and catching up on work that got sidelined during the day.
How about a Friday night? I can’t swing it since my husband and I are shelling out a small fortune for a babysitter just to enjoy a few hours of adult time without the kids’ incessant chatter.
Or a weekend outing? That’s when my husband is home, and I cherish the rare moments I can sneak away for some quiet time—so that won’t work either.
Perhaps when my children start sleeping through the night, and I finally get some much-needed rest, I’ll be more open to cultivating new friendships. But right now, my focus is on being a devoted mom and a decent wife (sorry, honey), and I’ll cling to those rare moments of silence for myself.
If you’re interested in being friends, feel free to text me anytime. Just know that I likely won’t have time for in-person hangouts in the foreseeable future—unless you’re up for a movie where we can enjoy each other’s company without the pressure of conversation, in which case we might be able to work something out.
For further insights on family dynamics and parenting, check out this engaging piece at Modern Family Blog. And if you’re exploring options for starting a family, Resolve.org is an excellent resource that provides valuable information. Plus, for those considering home insemination, our post on the artificial insemination kit can be quite helpful.
Summary:
At 35, I find contentment in my quieter birthday celebrations and prioritize my family over making new mom friends. While I cherish my existing friendships, my life is currently filled with the challenges of parenting young children, leaving little room for new relationships. Socializing has transformed into texting and online connections, which fits my busy lifestyle much better than attempting to juggle in-person meetups.