By: Amara Johnson
Date: Dec. 17, 2023
At 31 years old, I proudly wave the banner of pink. I adore boy bands and find joy in Disney princesses. But that’s not all—I’m also a fierce advocate for gender equality and a dedicated feminist. Yes, it is entirely possible to embrace both the sparkles of femininity and the strength of feminism.
This topic is far from new. In her insightful book, The Feminist’s Guide to Raising a Little Princess, author Lila Thompson explores the dilemma faced by feminists who have daughters enamored with traditionally girly things: tutus, tiaras, and all shades of pink. I’ve witnessed this struggle firsthand among friends who identify as feminists, fretting over their daughters’ love for things that society often labels as “too girly.” I find it amusing—because I stand as proof that one can love princesses without sacrificing feminist ideals.
Thompson reflects on her own feelings: “I could never raise a daughter who worships pink and frilly dresses.” But life has a humorous way of challenging our convictions, doesn’t it? Interestingly, I only embraced the color pink as an adult. As a child, I can’t recall my favorite color, but by the time I reached my mid-twenties, I decided on hot pink—the bolder, the better.
Growing up, I indulged my imagination with Barbies until I hit my teenage years. My fondest memories involve visiting “Barbie Boutique” at FAO Schwarz, where my father would take me to explore the ultimate Barbie wonderland. I had every type of Barbie, from diverse backgrounds to varying hairstyles, and I loved styling them for extravagant parties that only occasionally included boys. At those events, our conversations revolved around makeup, movies, and who we thought was cute. Even then, I ensured my Barbie characters had ambitious careers—CEOs, doctors, and yes, even a president who rocked a sparkly gown instead of a pantsuit.
Like many girls of the late ’90s, I found a unique blend of feminism and femininity through the Spice Girls. They were unapologetically themselves—embracing their attractiveness and asserting their independence. Their powerful “Girl Power” message inspired countless girls, including myself, to believe that we could conquer the world in any outfit—from a glamorous dress to comfy sneakers. I still aspire to embody that same confidence.
It can be frustrating to face judgment for indulging in what some consider overly feminine interests. Loving Snow White doesn’t diminish my feminist values. Believing in a “happily ever after” is merely a coping mechanism for the complexities of dating as a single mom. Adoring my friend’s adult tutu collection is simply a way to keep fashion fun. My choices regarding body hair and makeup stem from personal preference, not societal pressure.
There are inspiring princesses worth celebrating. Tiana was hardworking and ambitious, while Rapunzel prioritized her independence over a romantic proposal. Snow White—let’s not forget—had her dwarfs washing their hands before dinner, a feat that many of us moms can only dream of achieving with our kids. As a single mother raising a son, I teach him about equality and individuality by being unapologetically myself, rather than fitting into someone else’s mold of a “good” feminist.
So, to all the mothers like Thompson raising little girls who adore all things whimsical and princess-like: take heart. They may outgrow their obsession with girly things or, like me, navigate a phase of boyish attire only to embrace their femininity later in life. Regardless, they will always carry the essence of feminism because you’ve shown them what it truly means.
Feminists advocate for equality and opportunity. We celebrate our love for pink tutus, black attire, baggy jeans, and everything in between. We can choose to express ourselves however we like, whether that’s through our hairstyles, professions, or hobbies. There is no singular definition of a feminist, and that’s the beauty of it.
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Summary
In a world where femininity is often dismissed in feminist circles, it’s refreshing to embrace both. This article explores the idea that one can love pink, princesses, and all things traditionally feminine while being a strong advocate for gender equality. The narrative challenges stereotypes and highlights the complexities of raising daughters who love all things girly while also instilling values of empowerment and independence.