Last year, my brother-in-law shared a photo on social media that showcased the mountain of Christmas presents our families had amassed under their tree. The comments included a flurry of “wows,” “geez,” and even a “holy cow!” I get it — even we found ourselves asking, “Did the gifts multiply overnight?” Despite the humor in it, I felt a twinge of judgment creeping in. I wanted to explain that those gifts were for just eight people, and many were hand-me-downs from my sister’s older kids to my little one, all wrapped up for the fun of the moment. Yet, my justifications felt weak, and I found myself feeling embarrassed over our apparent holiday excess.
This year, I promised myself I would be more restrained. Fast forward to mid-December, and opening my closet feels reminiscent of a scene from a heist film where the protagonist dodges lasers — just significantly less glamorous. I keep reviewing the kids’ wish lists, hoping to find something to return. (Yes, I have an Excel spreadsheet — go ahead and roll your eyes.) But I can’t part with any of them! I know my children; each doll, Lego set, and science kit will spark joy and excitement in their hearts. They are genuinely appreciative kids.
Recently, I confided in my husband about my guilt surrounding our holiday spending. He reminded me that we’re not materialistic; our “spoiling” only happens at Christmas. We rarely buy toys on a whim, and for birthdays, they might receive a few gifts or none at all, opting instead for family adventures. He pointed out that we instill in our children the true essence of Christmas: love, kindness, gratitude, and family. We discuss the different lifestyles people lead around the globe and how fortunate we are, which reminds us to be thankful and give back. We contribute to charities, both financially and materially, and prioritize quality time with loved ones throughout the year, not just during the holidays.
He also expressed how much he cherishes the idea that our children will have vivid memories of Christmas mornings filled with gift unwrapping, along with the more meaningful aspects of the holiday. Honestly, I feel the same way. My childhood Christmases were filled with excitement, a flurry of wrapping paper, and the thrill of believing that a jolly man in a red suit magically appeared in our living room (no fireplaces in Florida) to deliver a bounty of toys. Those memories are invaluable to me.
So why can’t I shake off the guilt regarding that pile of gifts? If I’m really being honest — and if I thought no one else would see it — I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. My feelings stem from the pressure of others’ opinions, not my own beliefs about Christmas or materialism.
Social media platforms overflow with parents sharing their minimalist holiday traditions, boasting of limiting their children to three gifts or foregoing presents altogether. Many criticize those who indulge their children, labeling them as materialistic or even poor parents.
But here’s the truth: how families choose to celebrate Christmas — or any holiday — is their own business. It’s unfair to judge someone’s parenting based on a single snapshot of their holiday celebration. Families like mine, who embrace the spirit of abundance during the holidays, are not “doing it wrong.” We simply enjoy our tradition of extravagant Christmas celebrations, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a mountain of presents to wrap!
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Summary
The author reflects on the joy and guilt associated with large Christmas celebrations in her family, emphasizing the importance of traditions and the true meaning of the holiday. While she grapples with societal judgments about materialism, she ultimately defends her family’s approach to Christmas, highlighting their commitment to gratitude and giving back throughout the year.