As the holiday season approaches, it’s puzzling how it often brings out the worst in people. Let’s pause for a moment before diving into the question: why do so many adults seem to forget that their children are, in fact, individuals with feelings?
Christmas is a time I genuinely cherish. I adore making the season special for my kids, from selecting thoughtful gifts to baking cookies and savoring festive meals. This year, however, is relatively low-key for us. We’re coming off a whirlwind of activities, especially with my daughter’s recent play, which consumed a lot of time and energy. With my semester wrapped up, I’m taking a breath and preparing to enjoy the festivities without the pressure of a lengthy to-do list. Whatever happens, happens—and that’s perfectly okay.
Yet, amidst the twinkling lights and cheerful tunes, I find myself feeling disheartened. It seems that many parents lose their way during this time of year. I’ve been vocal about my disagreements with conventional parenting practices, but my frustration peaks during the holiday season.
There’s a particular trend that has caught my attention recently—one that I find deeply troubling. A viral post on social media featured a mother showcasing her “present jail,” a cardboard box where gifts are placed as a form of punishment for children who misbehave. She wrote, “Any present left in the box at Christmas can only be earned back through good behavior.” The idea is that gifts are privileges, not rights, and naughty kids don’t deserve presents. #meanmom
My initial reaction was a mix of disbelief and irritation. How many times can I reiterate the importance of kindness towards our children? I’ve made this point countless times, but perhaps it’s worth repeating once more in the hope that even one person might reconsider their approach.
The concept of tying gifts to behavior is outdated and fundamentally flawed. Gift-giving should be an act of love, given freely without conditions. When you take a gift away as punishment, it ceases to be a gift, transforming instead into a mere transaction devoid of warmth and affection.
Why, then, do we place such burdens on our children? Would you treat your spouse or a close friend this way? If you bought your partner a thoughtful gift, would you withhold it because they had a bad day? That’s not how we treat those we love, regardless of their age.
Kids are still learning and navigating their emotions in a complex world. They need our love and support, especially during challenging times like the holidays. Can you imagine the mixed messages they receive when told they have to “earn” their gifts? It sends a troubling message about generosity and kindness—concepts that should be taught, not manipulated.
I’ll admit I’ve had my moments of frustration this past month. I’m human, and so are you. Your kids are not perfect either, and they deserve your compassion, understanding, and generosity. This season should be about joy, not coercion.
Holding gifts hostage does not cultivate a spirit of giving; instead, it fosters resentment and fear. This is not the lesson we should impart to our children. They should understand that love is unconditional and that we, as their parents, are their greatest allies.
During this festive season, our kids need us more than ever. Their routines are disrupted, excitement is heightened, and emotional responses may be amplified. Instead of punishing them, let’s support them. Gifts should be a source of happiness, not a tool for control.
Please, let’s commit to treating our children with kindness this Christmas. They deserve to be acknowledged as individuals worthy of respect and love. You wouldn’t appreciate your new smartphone being taken away simply because you had a rough day, so why impose such treatment on your children?
In conclusion, let’s make a conscious effort to be kinder to our kids this holiday season. They deserve it.
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