It’s tough when my husband is away for work. I’m not referring to the brief periods when he’s out running errands or at work; I’m talking about those longer stretches when he travels for business.
Am I capable? Absolutely! Am I resilient? Without a doubt! Am I independent? You bet! Yet, despite all of this, I can’t shake the feeling that a piece of me is missing when he’s gone. My support system—my partner, my best friend—is often hundreds or even thousands of miles away for days, weeks, or sometimes months at a time. As part of a military family, this is a regular occurrence, and although we’ve grown accustomed to it, that doesn’t make it any easier.
When he’s home, his presence provides a crucial support system and a partner to navigate our marriage and the chaos of parenting. While I’m adept at managing our household, his absence is felt on an emotional level that can be quite challenging to handle alone. I’m the architect of schedules, the planner of events, and the one who keeps our family running. Although we share many responsibilities, I often take the lead because I excel at managing our family dynamics. I take pride in this role; it’s something I wear as a badge of honor.
We both have our strengths. He’s the master of grilling, fixing things around the house, and tackling his “honey-do list.” He handles the big bugs while I deal with the spiders—that’s just how it works! He contributes by cooking, cleaning, and changing diapers, while I make sure we’re stocked up on essentials and pack school lunches like a pro. Our responsibilities aren’t strictly divided; they ebb and flow as needed. However, having him around means I can rely on him when things get hectic—if I’m running late, he can pick up our son from school or take a child to the doctor if necessary. Without him, I often find myself stretched thin, trying to do it all.
While self-care is important, it often falls by the wayside. With no family nearby to lean on, it’s just me handling everything. Sure, he’s a phone call away, but that doesn’t quite fill the void. I become the last line of defense, and that’s a daunting thought. If I slip up, I feel like I’m letting my kids down. During his absence, I must be their sole source of comfort, security, and care. The weight of that responsibility is heavy.
What if I oversleep and miss getting my son to school? What if there’s an emergency and it’s just me with the kids? What if I have a flat tire or accidentally lock us out of the house? These “what ifs” swirl in my mind when he’s away, anxiety creeping in with each passing moment. I don’t realize how much his presence calms me until I’m left to face the silence alone.
Even though I’ve proven time and again that I can manage everything solo, the mental load often feels overwhelming. It’s not just about keeping everyone safe; it’s about carrying the emotional weight of worry and fear. I absorb all the anxieties and frustrations, offering love and comfort in return.
My children, still young and unable to fully grasp why Daddy isn’t home, often ask for him. Each time they cry for him, my heart aches. I want to break down with them, but I must stay strong. We all miss him, and when the day ends, the loneliness settles in as the kids drift off to sleep.
Despite the heavy burden, I remind myself that this situation is temporary. In the meantime, I do my best to keep everyone’s spirits up. Rules are occasionally bent, and we indulge in ice cream and cupcakes to lift our moods. I focus on providing reassurance and love until their father returns, and our family feels whole again.
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In summary, while being independent is a source of pride, the emotional challenges of a spouse’s work travel can be daunting. Balancing responsibilities, managing anxiety, and providing support to my children all while longing for my partner’s presence is a complex journey. However, by focusing on love and connection, I strive to navigate these tough times until we’re reunited.