Dear friend, coworker, neighbor, or relative,
I regret to inform you that I was unable to attend your gathering, be it a party, event, picnic, or celebration. Please know that this isn’t a reflection on you—it’s simply the reality of my life as a parent.
Since becoming a mom about five years ago, sleep has become a distant memory. I find myself perpetually exhausted, with my brain seemingly retreating to a foggy state midway through my first pregnancy. If I’ve repeated the same stories during our last few interactions, I apologize. Honestly, my grasp on the days of the week has faded, and my conversational skills seem to have devolved into discussions centered around children’s programming.
After welcoming my second child, things escalated. Parenthood is filled with chaos—my days revolve around managing my kids’ antics and enduring their endless chatter, complete with an abundance of “butt” references.
Returning to the point, I couldn’t make it to your gathering because, if I had a few free hours, I would likely choose solitude over socializing. #SorryNotSorry. In fact, there are so many things I would prefer to do with that precious time:
- Locking myself away with a captivating novel, some music, and a glass of wine.
- Enjoying a long-lost nap, which I miss dearly.
- Pampering myself with a hair or nail appointment, if only to remember what that feels like.
- Going shopping—real shopping, in a mall, wearing something other than leggings—what a treat!
- Indulging in my favorite Thai food (a guilty pleasure my family does not share) while blasting music in the parking lot.
- Watching a movie and actually being able to focus on the film without interruptions.
The list could go on, but let’s be honest: the very bottom of that list would be engaging in small talk with unfamiliar faces. It’s not about your particular gathering; it’s more about my ongoing struggle with postpartum anxiety. Large crowds in confined spaces trigger what I like to call “people sweats”—a phenomenon that amplifies my anxiety and leaves me in a cycle of discomfort.
And if you’re curious why I don’t just bring my kids along, well, then you might not quite understand the unique challenges of parenting. Managing a wailing toddler in a social setting is not my idea of fun. “Don’t worry, everyone, he screams like this all the time! Haha, he’s fine, really.”
So, I apologize for my absence, but perhaps you can appreciate that you were spared the delightful chaos of my children and my own awkwardness. Please bear with me as I recharge; I promise I’ll emerge as a more energetic version of myself soon. After all, as they say, “Happy wife, less likely she is to burn it all to the ground”—or at least, that’s what it should be!
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Summary
The challenges of parenthood often lead to overwhelming fatigue, making social events feel more daunting than enjoyable. It’s important for friends and family to understand that when a parent declines an invitation, it’s likely due to the exhaustion of managing daily chaos rather than a reflection on the event itself. Taking time for self-care is essential for maintaining balance and happiness.