Let’s dive into the realities of living with multiple sclerosis (MS) as a mother, exploring fatigue, family dynamics, self-care, and yes, the infamous spoon theory.
Fatigue is one of the most prevalent symptoms of multiple sclerosis, as highlighted by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. It can severely disrupt daily functioning at home and work, often leading to early exits from the workforce. MS fatigue isn’t just ordinary tiredness; it can be profoundly debilitating, especially for those with minimal physical limitations. This fatigue can stem from various sources such as sleep disturbances due to bladder issues or muscle spasms, depression, or the sheer effort required to tackle everyday tasks. The MS Society further identifies a unique type of fatigue known as “lassitude,” which is characterized by:
- Daily occurrence
- Onset even after a good night’s sleep
- Escalation as the day progresses
- Increased severity in hot and humid conditions
- Sudden onset
- Greater impact on daily responsibilities
Given these challenges, raising a child—especially one on the autism spectrum—can be incredibly taxing for someone with MS. On most weekdays, I find myself with only four or five spoons of energy left before I even step outside my door. By the time evening arrives, I often feel completely drained.
As a mother, running out of spoons by 5 PM is simply not an option. Dinner must be prepared, the kitchen cleaned, baths given, and pajamas wrestled into place. There’s still “quality playtime” to squeeze in, laundry to fold, groceries to shop for, and the ever-growing pile of mail and bills awaiting attention. And of course, who could forget the need for a shower?
But how can you manage all these responsibilities when you’re running on empty? While there’s no foolproof method, here are four strategies that help me navigate those low-energy days.
1. Take a Breather.
Before diving into chores, take a moment to sit down. Acknowledge the dishes piling up in the sink and the dinner that hasn’t started yet. Allow yourself 10-15 minutes to let go of the mom guilt, pop on some cartoons for your little one, and simply relax. You might just gain an extra spoon of energy.
2. Delegate Tasks.
Many of us moms are Type A personalities, myself included. It’s easy to think that our partners won’t do chores “the right way.” But does it really matter if they fold laundry differently? Let it go. They are perfectly capable of helping out.
3. Borrow from Tomorrow.
This isn’t the ideal approach and can lead to a cycle of exhaustion, but sometimes you need to do it. Remind yourself that tomorrow is a lighter day. Dinner might be leftovers or a slow cooker meal, and the laundry can wait. This way, you can conserve your energy for a much-needed recharge.
4. Accept Your Limits.
Occasionally, you just can’t do it all. There will be days when you need to retreat to your pajamas and binge-watch your favorite show. I recently discussed my extreme fatigue with my neurologist, who prescribed Amantadine (Symmetrel) and suggested more naps. I couldn’t help but laugh—how am I supposed to nap when I’m a full-time mom?
While a nap might be out of reach, I do try to sneak in brief breaks between tasks. Although my energetic 4-year-old may not always appreciate this, those few minutes can be crucial. Interestingly, sometimes stepping out to browse around Target takes less energy than tackling bedtime at home. And that’s perfectly okay.
On good days, I might wake up feeling more energetic. I wish I could save that energy for later, but it doesn’t work that way. Use it wisely: skip the yard work and take your child to the park, or enjoy a date night with your partner. After all, these are the people who support you when your energy reserves are low, so they deserve your attention when you have a little extra to give.
For those interested in alternative family planning, check out our post on at-home insemination kits. Additionally, for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, explore this excellent resource. For a deeper understanding of motherhood with MS, you can also visit this authoritative article.
In summary, being a mom with multiple sclerosis is challenging, filled with unique hurdles and the need for self-care. By implementing strategies to manage fatigue and embracing support, it is possible to navigate motherhood while living with MS.