As the festive season approaches, many of us feel the weight of expectations bearing down on our shoulders. Who’s checking the stockings, ensuring the perfect gifts are wrapped, and creatively relocating the Elf on the Shelf each night? For many modern mothers, the holidays add yet another layer of stress to an already packed schedule. Are we measuring up to the neighbors with our sophisticated holiday cards? Are we fulfilling our children’s wish lists with all the latest must-have toys? Are we preparing that one dish everyone raved about at last year’s potluck, even if it takes hours to make?
A recent essay titled Holiday Magic Is Made By Women explores how the bulk of holiday-related tasks often falls to women, calling it “emotional labor.” While there’s no denying that many of these responsibilities land on women’s plates, it’s worth questioning whether it’s entirely accurate to classify it as emotional labor.
Sure, a picture-perfect holiday card may seem essential in today’s world, but is it really? The author relays her struggles to coordinate a family photo session, complete with endless emails about timing, location, and weather, followed by the painstaking process of selecting the right photo, writing an appealing message, and handling the stamps and addresses. Yet, she admits that skipping the card could disappoint friends and family who anticipate her annual update.
But will it, really? In this digital age of Facebook, Instagram, and texting, many people see our children’s smiles regularly. That’s why I made the decision to treat holiday cards as optional. Some years, I send them out; other years, I don’t. And guess what? Nobody seems to mind.
We often forget that we have choices. No one is forcing us into a whirlwind of stress over holiday festivities. The essay points out that even therapists recommend dropping a few obligations to ease seasonal stress. So, why not drop a dozen? The pressure to be the ultimate holiday host is not a necessity; it’s a choice.
Real emotional labor encompasses the daily responsibilities that women and mothers manage, which often go unnoticed by men. I handle all communications with my kids’ school, the pediatrician, music instructors, and sports coaches. I keep tabs on their social lives and make decisions about things like smartphones. I remember the essentials, like toothpaste. This is the real emotional labor that weighs on us.
Yet, many of the holiday tasks we take on are completely optional. Instead of searching for ways to cope with the self-imposed emotional labor of the season, why not simply say “no” to anything that doesn’t bring joy? For instance, if I skip the holiday card this year, I can easily share a fun family photo on social media. If we miss the neighborhood Ugly Sweater Potluck, everyone will still enjoy themselves. Instead of stressing over unique gifts, I could opt for gift cards instead.
Ultimately, we often take on these tasks to avoid disappointing others. However, it’s vital to prioritize our own well-being. If certain expectations are causing you anxiety, it may be time to stop worrying about what others think. Your mental health should never take a backseat to superficial pressures. If the holiday obligations are stressing you to the point of losing enjoyment in the season, just say no.
For more insights on managing the emotional load, visit Modern Family Blog, an authority on topics like this. And if you’re interested in family planning, check out the CDC’s excellent resources on pregnancy. For those considering alternative family-building options, the Cryobaby at-home insemination kit is worth a look.
In summary, as the holidays approach, remember that you have the power to set boundaries around your time and energy. Don’t let the pressure of holiday expectations rob you of the joy this season can bring. Embrace your choices, prioritize your well-being, and if it doesn’t spark joy, feel free to skip it.