As autumn approaches, a significant transition awaits my family—my three children will all be in school, occupying their days with learning and growth. Well-meaning acquaintances often inquire, “What will you do with all that time?” I could respond with a long list of tasks: laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, running, yoga, dog walking, catching up on emails, making phone calls, paying bills, meeting friends for coffee, or simply enjoying the quiet moments. And while I might indeed tackle these daily responsibilities, a deeper longing stirs within me.
Before I embraced the role of motherhood, I was a social worker, dedicating my life to providing essential services to marginalized communities. I helped those facing chronic illnesses and homelessness access health care and basic human rights. Although I stepped away from social work, the pressing social issues I once fought against remain ever-present. Beneath the surface of my fulfilling role as a mother lies a yearning to contribute to society in a more profound way. As my children spend more hours in the classroom than in my care, my desire to re-enter the workforce intensifies. I feel compelled to help mend a world that increasingly feels unfixable.
Moreover, I find myself considering my future self—what will I feel like at 50 when my children graduate and my nest becomes empty? Will I even recognize the person I was before they arrived? If I don’t start reclaiming my identity soon, I fear I might lose it forever.
I’ve begun to have conversations with several close friends who have balanced work and motherhood seamlessly. Their passion for being working moms is evident; they seem clear about their goals and needs. Each of them returned to their careers after maternity leave, maintaining a connection to their pre-motherhood selves. I, on the other hand, took a leap into full-time motherhood, leaving behind my professional identity.
Observing my working mom friends, I see them confidently navigating both their roles as mothers and professionals. In contrast, my reflection reveals a tired, frazzled version of myself with a lackluster spirit. The question looms: where is my passion? Where is the drive that once fueled my ambitions?
It has become a taboo to express regret, yet I find myself grappling with the feeling that I should have remained partially engaged in the workforce. Had I done so, I might not feel so apprehensive about re-entering that world. Author Jack Canfield wisely states, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” I resonate with his words; before motherhood, I faced fears of my own—nervous about embracing this new identity. But I did it, and I continue to thrive as a mother to three wonderful children.
Confronting my fears led me to motherhood, and facing them again will guide me back to the professional realm. This doesn’t mean I’ll cease being a devoted mom. I will tackle this new chapter with the same messy determination and love that have defined my journey thus far.
For those seeking more insights on motherhood and personal journeys, be sure to check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re interested in exploring the options for starting a family, you might find our post on at-home insemination kits helpful.
In summary, the journey of motherhood is a complex blend of joy and introspection. As I prepare for the next phase of life, I aim to reclaim my sense of self while continuing to nurture my family.