Hello, my dear family,
It’s your mom and wife speaking. I want you all to know that my love for you is boundless. I would go to great lengths to support you, but we need to make some changes — and we need to do it quickly.
You might be wondering what I mean by that. I know you think I can handle everything, and for the most part, I do. But I can no longer keep doing it all by myself.
To be fair, you all are truly wonderful. Between you, you manage to pick up after the dog (eventually), do the dishes and take out the trash (most of the time without reminders), and occasionally do your laundry (just yours, of course). You help each other out, clean up messes, whip up delicious meals, and even give me a good laugh now and then. I am genuinely grateful for everything you do.
However, there are moments when it just isn’t enough.
Let’s be real: I need you to understand that, despite your good intentions, it’s not always sufficient. There’s been a lot of discussion lately about the mental load that women carry, and it’s truly resonated with me. While you’re all great at helping when I ask, sometimes I wish I didn’t have to ask at all. I don’t want to pick up one more spoon or yogurt container from the table. I don’t want to ask you to put your shoes away again. I shouldn’t have to remind you to take out the compost or call in your prescriptions.
I don’t want to be the one to remember that we need milk or to compile the grocery list. I shouldn’t have to make coffee every morning or notice when the counters need cleaning. And for heaven’s sake, I don’t want to be asked for a glass of milk as soon as I sit down to eat.
I know all of you are capable of more! More importantly, I need you to see me. I need you to look past the supermom facade and realize that, even when I say I’m fine, I might not be. Truth be told, I often feel like I’m hanging on by a thread.
Most days, I’m under stress, but I’ve mastered the art of faking it. You might not even notice when I’m reaching my limit because I usually manage everything that comes my way. But it’s exhausting!
I have one simple request for all of you able-bodied people living in my house who benefit from my supermom duties: next time you need something, take a moment to really look at me. Before you ask for that one little favor, consider what’s going on in my life. Remember that beneath the supermom exterior, I might be struggling.
And if you can handle that one small task on your own, please do it! Give your supermom a much-needed break.
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In conclusion, I love you all dearly, but I need you to step up and recognize the mental load I carry. Together, we can make our home a more balanced environment.
xoxo,
Your Mom