November is recognized as National Adoption Month, a time when we celebrate the joyful journey of adoption while reflecting on the importance of family. I have always appreciated the presidential proclamations that accompany this month, lending an official tone to our collective acknowledgment of adoption’s significance. However, I feel compelled to express my concerns regarding the recent statements made in this year’s proclamation.
In our household, we embrace the identity of “just a family,” rather than labeling ourselves as an “adoptive family.” Our most recent adoption was finalized over four years ago, and while the nuances of our adoption are woven into our daily lives, our routine is quite ordinary. Our breakfast discussions often include terminology like “birth mother” or “adoption day,” but they’re just a part of our everyday conversations—much like any other family’s.
Navigating public spaces often leads to unexpected inquiries from my children, such as “Did my birth mom have brown eyes?” or “Why was I adopted?” These questions can come at inconvenient times, but it’s crucial to address them openly and honestly.
Returning to the presidential proclamation, I have always admired the recognition of adoption at such a high level. It shines a spotlight on the topic, potentially encouraging families to consider adoption as a viable option. Adoption encompasses a myriad of emotions—it’s beautiful, complex, and often fraught with challenges. While I appreciate the publicity it receives this month, I take issue with specific language used in the proclamation.
The statement that “adoptive parents are a selfless and loving part of God’s plan for their future children” doesn’t resonate with me. My response? Simply put: “No, thank you.” Adopting my children was not an act of selflessness; it was a deeply personal desire to expand our family. My husband and I made the choice to adopt because we wanted to welcome children into our lives.
While I had to advocate for adoption within our family, the decision stemmed from our own aspirations rather than any sense of altruism. After our daughter left for college, we found ourselves craving the joys of parenting again. This desire was not selfless; it was a reflection of our need for connection and purpose.
Moreover, to suggest that our adoption journey was part of “God’s plan” is a notion I struggle to accept. As a practicing Christian, my faith has undoubtedly played a role in guiding us through the tumultuous terrain of adoption, but I cannot reconcile that with the painful realities our children faced before finding their way to us. The heart-wrenching conversations surrounding their histories are not something I can attribute to a divine plan; they are the result of complex human circumstances.
Adoption was a choice made by our family, and while faith has helped us navigate the journey, I don’t see it as a predetermined destiny. I am content in knowing that I am not a part of some grand plan, but rather a loving mom who is doing her best.
Mr. President, while I appreciate your acknowledgment of National Adoption Month, I urge you to reconsider the phrasing in your proclamation. It’s important to portray adoption accurately and sensitively. Adoption is multifaceted—it is not merely an act of selflessness or a divine plan but a choice made out of love, necessity, and hope.
As we celebrate this month, let’s keep in mind the true essence of adoption and recognize the myriad motivations that drive families to open their hearts and homes to children in need. If you’re looking for more insights into parenthood and family dynamics, I recommend checking out this great resource for understanding the complexities of family life.
In summary, while National Adoption Month shines a much-needed light on adoption, the language used in official statements can shape public perception. It’s vital to acknowledge the realities of adoptive families and the diverse motivations behind their choices.