One moment, you’re captivated by the adorable little beings with round cheeks and sparkling eyes. The next, they’ve transformed into long-limbed whirlwinds, with wide eyes that seem to scream adventure, darting away from you at full speed, often shouting, “You’re not my mommy!” And in that moment, you can only look around, hoping to reassure onlookers that, yes, you are indeed the mother of this wild child. #TrueStory
I’ve experienced this firsthand, and you will too when your sweet little baby zips past the cuddly threenager phase and leaps straight into the whirlwind of being four years old. I’ve heard them dubbed “The Dictatorial Fours,” but I lean towards the more candid label: “The Frustrating Fours.” Because they are loud, annoyingly persistent, prone to tantrums, and just plain exhausting.
Logically, I understand this chaos is part of their journey from the innocence of babyhood (ages 3 and under) to the budding independence of childhood (ages 5 and up). But knowing this doesn’t ease the fatigue that accompanies their emotional turmoil. These four-year-olds are attempting to navigate the complexities of growing up while still holding onto their baby-like emotions, and it is utterly draining.
You might feel a pang of sympathy for their confusion. You may wish to scoop them up for a comforting hug, but more often than not, they’ll respond with a shriek of, “Don’t touch me!” and bolt away in a huff. Occasionally, they’ll succumb to their need for solace, allowing you to rock them for a brief moment before they dash off again, ready to wreak more havoc.
Testing boundaries is a hallmark of the Frustrating Fours. With their newfound vocabulary, they seem to wake up each day wondering, “If I scream and throw a fit, will Mommy give me cookies for breakfast?” Spoiler alert: they will try. When you gently decline their requests, prepare for ear-piercing screams that could shatter glass. Their flailing limbs may leave a trail of chaos, bruised shins, and frightened pets. Perhaps a cookie and a few minutes of Caillou could calm them down—ah, Caillou, the bane of our existence.
These pint-sized tornadoes also want to mimic their older siblings, regardless of how complicated the activity may be. If their older brother has a friend over, little Mr. Four is right there, wanting to join in their game until he inevitably gets shunned. Confused and heartbroken, he’ll come running to you, tears streaming down his face, wailing, “Mommy, why don’t they want to play with me?” You’ll have to comfort the snot-covered mess, reassuring him that the older kids need some time alone and suggesting a session of Play-Doh instead.
And as much as you may dread Play-Doh time, for that half-hour, you’ll have your sweet child back. He’ll craft lopsided cakes and colorful snakes with you, and you’ll understand his little world perfectly. But before you know it, he’ll leap back into action, leaving you behind to clean up the Play-Doh disaster.
Dinner time is another battlefield. He’ll refuse to eat, only to demand a snack half an hour later. Your polite refusals will ignite more screams. Attempts to read a bedtime story will be met with furious protests. As the evening wears on, he’ll become cuddlier, finally agreeing to a story. But then, a meltdown will ensue over the choice of pajamas. You’ll switch them out, only to face another tantrum when he struggles with his socks.
Finally, you’ll tuck him into his big-boy bed, complete with a character-themed bedding set that cost you an arm and a leg. He’ll close his little eyes, appearing all grown up in his big-boy bed—until 3 a.m. when he sneaks into your room, transforming back into a sweet little angel for a fleeting moment before the kicking and whining begin anew.
Ah, the Frustrating Fours.
If you’re searching for more insights on parenting during these tumultuous years, you can check out Modern Family Blog, an authority on the topic. And if you’re considering fertility options, don’t forget to explore Make a Mom for helpful information. For excellent resources related to pregnancy and home insemination, visit Mayo Clinic.
In summary, navigating the challenges of the Frustrating Fours can be overwhelming, yet it also presents moments filled with laughter and love. Embrace the chaos, and remember, this too shall pass.