As the fall sports season kicks off, I’ve noticed a surge of memes about proper behavior at youth sporting events. While these humorous takes on the realities of the sidelines often contain a kernel of truth, it’s disheartening to see that adults often need reminders about the fundamental nature of youth sports: they are about kids playing.
Let’s remember, we’re not dealing with high-stakes situations here. Most complaints revolve around how a child performs during a game. So let’s say it together: “A child. Playing a game.”
It’s crucial to acknowledge that little Alex’s performance today is unlikely to change the course of history. The chances that he’ll score the game-winning touchdown and earn a scholarship to a prestigious college are exceedingly slim. Conversely, blowing the game won’t define her future either.
Because, at the end of the day, it’s just a game. A bit like Sorry or Monopoly, but with extra expenses for uniforms, equipment, and snacks galore.
While I could dwell on the countless images addressing this topic, I’d like to take a different approach and share my perspective as the wife of a coach. Yes, I hold the not-so-glamorous title of “Coach’s Wife,” which comes with perks like half-priced pizza at the concession stand—after enduring the entire freshman game—along with the occasional free root beer (well, not exactly free, but you know what I mean).
It’s the little things that make it special, right?
Along with those perks come long nights, double practices if my husband coaches multiple teams, weekend commitments, and little family time during the season. Honestly, it can feel like I’m living the life of a pop star—if that star’s partner wrote all their songs, sold them for pennies, and hosted concerts in the local gym.
I’m sure my sarcasm is palpable at this point, but let’s be real. I haven’t always been the best coach’s wife. In the beginning, I was all in—hosting Taco Tuesdays, knowing players’ names, and cheering on game nights. But as my own kids arrived, I started to resent the time my husband devoted to kids I hardly knew. I often felt bitter that our family time was sacrificed for staff meetings instead of outings to the pumpkin patch.
My husband coaches football, so autumn has become an emotional tug-of-war for me over the past decade. Thankfully, I’ve learned to ease up—somewhat. I recognize his passion, appreciate the positive influence he has on young men, and try to keep my opinions in check from August through October.
However, my big mouth sometimes gets the better of me. I share this because sacrificing time with my husband has been challenging, especially when our kids feel the impact of his absence. But nothing frustrates me more than overhearing parents criticize coaches from the sidelines, in the stands, or even at the grocery store.
As a parent of young athletes myself, I completely understand the passion that comes with watching your child play. I’ve questioned coaches and their decisions on more than one occasion. However, if you criticize someone who has chosen to spend their free time helping your child become a better athlete and person, it reflects poorly on you.
Here’s how I break it down by age groups:
Preschool/Elementary
These coaches manage kids with the attention spans of gnats and boundless energy. They receive no compensation for their time and effort. Their goal? To help kids learn basic skills and have fun, not to win every game.
Middle School/High School
The hours these coaches dedicate to their sport are staggering. I once calculated the hourly pay my husband would earn for his coaching work, and the number was shocking enough to convince me to let him keep his coaching job rather than pursue pizza delivery. These coaches’ responsibilities extend far beyond playbooks, including laundry, academic support, and even hospital visits. They voluntarily invest their time because they care.
When I hear someone criticizing a coach from the sidelines, I want to shout several things. But keeping it family-friendly, I’ll share some thoughts to consider:
- You’re likely only witnessing 15-35% of the week’s events during a game. Much happens beyond the field. The play you think was poorly executed may have been practiced flawlessly multiple times.
- You might question why a player is in a specific position. But it’s not your call. If you’re that concerned, why not volunteer to assist with practices?
- Coaches often serve as vital support systems for their players. Many kids come from unstable home environments. It’s essential for them to have another adult looking out for their well-being.
So, before you unleash your frustrations on the “idiot coach” at a youth sporting event, remember that person might just be my husband. If you’re seeking more information about home insemination or pregnancy, check out this excellent resource.
In summary, let’s approach youth sports with a bit more understanding and appreciation for the coaches who dedicate their time and energy to developing our children both on and off the field.