Let’s establish a guideline: If you have never experienced the challenges of raising children, you cannot fairly judge those who have—unless, of course, there’s clear evidence of emotional or physical abuse.
Recently, I shared a thought-provoking article on my blog’s Facebook page about the misconception that those without kids deserve a child-free existence. A commenter named Mark stated, “When kids are acting up, it’s almost always due to poor parenting.” (Yes, that was his exact phrasing.) When I simply inquired whether he had children, Mark dismissed my question, claiming his comment was merely an expression of opinion, not an invitation for dialogue.
Well, Mark, the beauty of managing a Facebook page is that I can engage with anyone I choose. If that bothers you, perhaps you should look elsewhere on the internet.
It’s clear Mark doesn’t have kids. So, when my son recently threw a fit at the mall, it surely wasn’t due to being overtired, underfed, or overwhelmed—no, it had to be because I’m a “shitty parent.” Great deduction, Mark!
Those quick to label others as bad parents after witnessing a fleeting moment of a child’s behavior likely have no idea about the complexities of parenting. It’s not just about one event; it’s about the countless hours we spend teaching and guiding our kids toward making better choices.
Yes, there are genuinely neglectful parents out there, but I believe that 95% of us are striving to raise our children to be kind, responsible members of society. Those without children often lack an understanding of the immense effort it takes to nurture young lives, making it frustrating when I can sense their judgment during a moment of chaos.
They see a quick glimpse of a child misbehaving but miss the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day filled with routines: waking up, preparing meals, commuting, juggling work or household duties, and helping with homework—all while trying to instill values and social skills. It’s an ongoing challenge!
The judgmental non-parent fails to recognize the parents who cry in private due to the stress of raising a strong-willed child or who work tirelessly to secure appropriate support for a child with disabilities. They don’t see the sacrifices made or the relentless efforts put forth behind the scenes.
To all non-parents, here’s a reality check: We teach our young ones how to behave in public, but sometimes they still end up screaming or tossing their snacks. We emphasize the value of sharing, yet there are moments when they refuse to part with their favorite treat. We instruct them on manners during flights, but long trips can lead to restless behavior. Yes, they will occasionally forget to be quiet in serene spaces like libraries or places of worship.
It’s important to remember that these behaviors stem from being a child, not from a lack of parenting. Most of the time, parents are doing their utmost.
So, next time you witness my child having a meltdown in a restaurant, please show a little compassion—especially if you’re not a parent yourself.
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In summary, parenting is a challenging and nuanced journey that deserves understanding, rather than judgment, from those who haven’t walked that path.