In light of the #MeToo movement, I penned a note that gained significant traction on social media. With over 2,400 likes and 1,500 shares, it was evident that my message struck a chord. However, what many may not realize is that those words were adapted from a program I created aimed at teaching white individuals how to become allies for people of color, simply swapping out “racism” for “sexism.”
Just as every woman you know has faced some form of sexual harassment from an early age, every person of color has a similar narrative regarding racism. For many POC, racism is not an exception but a daily reality. If you ask any person of color, they will share stories of oppression that span generations.
The sense of betrayal that women felt as they bravely shared their experiences, only to be met with silence from men they thought were allies, mirrors the feelings of POC when we witness our fellow members being unjustly killed by law enforcement. We remember watching Eric Garner struggle for breath, repeatedly stating, “I can’t breathe.” We recall the tragedy of Philando Castile losing his life on a Facebook live stream, and the heart-wrenching moment Tamir Rice was shot by police within seconds. Sandra Bland’s tragic death following a routine traffic stop and John Crawford being killed over a toy gun in a Walmart remind us of the ongoing violence we face. When we peacefully protest, pleading for our right to live, we are often met with hostility. Colin Kaepernick’s peaceful kneeling sparked outrage in the NFL, symbolizing the larger societal discomfort with addressing racism.
The silence we encounter from those we considered friends is deafening. We have grown weary of the list of names of those lost to systemic violence. Each incident of racism—a noose found in a workplace or racial slurs scrawled on a door—echoes in our hearts, reminding us of the physical violence that often follows. And your silence? It quietly contributes to our suffering.
We watched millions unite to protest against a president known for his predatory behavior and wondered: If the same energy had been directed toward the injustices faced by Trayvon Martin or Tamir Rice, would things be different today? It’s crucial to recognize that while many POC face racism in various forms, countless white individuals have also perpetuated racist behaviors, often unknowingly.
When viewers were horrified by the dystopian themes in The Handmaid’s Tale, they overlooked the real historical experiences of black women in America—where their bodies were exploited, their identities erased, and their lives dictated by the whims of others. The legacy of slavery morphed into practices like peonage and Jim Crow laws, leading us to the current prison-industrial complex.
If every person who supported #MeToo could grasp that their experiences are just a glimpse of what POC endure daily, perhaps they would begin to see racism in its true light. White supremacy benefits some while oppressing others, just as those who enabled Harvey Weinstein benefited from ignoring the truth. Like sexism, racism is an omnipresent force affecting POC.
Now, consider the added burden on women of color. Just as many men remained silent, many white individuals also choose silence—often an easier path than confronting their own complicity in systemic injustice. As my colleague, Sarah Thompson, articulated brilliantly in her essay, “Dear Allies, This is Why We’re Exhausted,” it’s imperative to recognize the immense emotional labor POC endure. We navigate daily interactions, often managing the feelings of white individuals at the cost of our own well-being.
This emotional toll manifests in various ways: from threats received online to the constant need to educate others about racism, often without acknowledgment of our lived experiences. The emotional fatigue of not being believed, coupled with the necessity to reassure those around us that not all white individuals are complicit, is exhausting. We often find ourselves pausing to address systemic racism while simultaneously needing to soften our tone to avoid being labeled as “angry.”
Each time a white person laughs at a racial joke or ignores a racist comment, they become complicit in a harmful system. The painful reality is that despite centuries of struggle, the underlying issues remain unchanged. Small inconveniences accumulate, reminding us of the trauma we’ve endured.
If you are wondering why POC are increasingly vocal, why we refuse to tolerate dismissals or minimize our experiences, it’s because we are simply exhausted. White individuals must acknowledge their shortcomings and take action. Apologizing and committing to change is the first step.
It is time for white individuals to shoulder the responsibility of dismantling systemic racism. If you’re unsure how to contribute, here are ten actionable steps to become a better ally:
- Listen to POC without bias.
- Listen even more intently.
- Avoid centering your own narrative.
- Recognize that being an ally isn’t about your own validation.
- Stand up against racism when you see it.
- Speak out in private settings as well—your friends need to hear it.
- Take the initiative to educate yourself.
- Understand that trust must be earned.
- Acknowledge that mistakes are part of the learning process.
- Stay committed; change will not happen overnight.
Remember, silence in the face of injustice is no different than indifference toward harassment. If you’re ready to stand against oppression and contribute to meaningful change, consider joining the movement of dedicated individuals committed to ending white supremacy.
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Summary
In the wake of the #MeToo movement, it’s vital to recognize the parallels between sexism and racism. Every person of color faces systemic oppression daily, much like women confronting gender-based violence. Silence from allies only perpetuates these injustices. White individuals must actively work to dismantle racism through listening, speaking out, and taking actionable steps to support POC.