It may seem trivial to some parents when their teens express feelings of stress or anxiety. Many of us might question how they could possibly understand stress when they haven’t faced adult responsibilities like managing a household or maintaining a job. It’s easy to dismiss their concerns or even laugh them off, given that they often have more than we ever did. I admit that I’ve made this mistake in the past.
However, I’ve come to realize that we must take our children’s feelings seriously. When they voice their struggles, whether related to academics or friendships, we need to validate their emotions. These feelings can be overwhelming and, if ignored, may lead to isolation or even risky behaviors. Our goal should not be to overly protect or coddle them, but rather to equip them with the tools to manage their emotions. The challenge lies in finding a balance without burdening them further.
A recent article in The New York Times delves into the growing epidemic of anxiety among teenagers, highlighting the dangers of overlooking their subtle cries for help. It’s alarming to note that thoughts of suicide among teens have doubled in the last decade—a statistic we cannot afford to ignore.
As a mother to a teenage son, I recognize the reality of his anxiety, even on days when he appears indifferent. I know him well enough to read his body language, which often tells a different story. I want to support him appropriately without undermining his self-esteem. After noticing that his anxiety was manifesting as anger, we decided to pursue cognitive behavioral therapy. His therapist has introduced effective strategies, like breathing techniques and emphasizing the importance of regular meals for mood stabilization. While progress has been made, the journey is ongoing.
According to a survey by the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors, anxiety rates among teens have been steadily increasing since 2009. Symptoms can easily be overlooked, as they often mirror those experienced by many. As Suniya Luthar, a psychology professor at Arizona State University, noted in The New York Times, anxiety affects youth from both affluent and economically disadvantaged backgrounds, with affluent teens often exhibiting perfectionism and those from less privileged environments sometimes showing aggression.
Numerous factors contribute to this rise in anxiety. Teens often feel the pressure of never being “done,” believing they should take extra classes or engage in more extracurricular activities. Additionally, they share the same safety concerns as adults, worrying about their security in public spaces. Events such as trips to the movies or concerts, which should be enjoyable, can induce significant stress, especially in light of recent tragedies.
However, a leading source of anxiety today is social media, which likely comes as no surprise. Platforms like these amplify feelings of inadequacy, as teens constantly compare their lives to their peers. They grapple with the fear of not measuring up and feel as if they are perpetually under scrutiny.
As parents, we must reflect on our perceptions of our children’s anxiety. The realities they face are different from what we experienced. With mounting fears about their futures, coupled with anxiety about public outings and the pressure of maintaining a perfect online persona, the foundation for stress is firmly established.
The critical question we face is how to support our children: when do we step back and let them advocate for themselves, and when do we intervene? Seeking external help is often necessary, but knowing when to do so can be challenging. Since embarking on this journey with my anxious teenager, I’ve learned that help is available, and asking for it can be just as daunting for them as it is for adults.
As parents, we must remain vigilant—recognize the red flags, engage in open dialogue, and seek assistance when needed. Anxiety, stress, and depression can manifest differently for each individual, so there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but resources and support do exist. Trust your instincts and your child.
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In summary, the rising rates of anxiety in teens are alarming and deserve our attention. By acknowledging their struggles and providing the right support, we can help them navigate their emotions and foster resilience in the face of challenges.