When it comes to my friends, I’m all in.
Need a last-minute babysitter? Bring those kids over, I’ve got snacks galore. Had a rough day and need a sympathetic ear? I’ll show up with enough wine for a small army. I’ll even tackle that laundry pile for you. I’m all about supporting my friends in their times of need, but there’s one thing I absolutely will not do—participate in their extravagant weddings.
My own wedding nearly 20 years ago was the epitome of simplicity (read: budget-friendly). My dress was a fantastic find from the clearance rack, costing less than $300. Our bachelor and bachelorette parties were a combined affair at local beach bars, and we picked a honeymoon spot that was a short drive away to save on expenses. We exchanged vows at our community church and celebrated with a modest reception at a nearby hotel.
It was perfect. Even two decades later, I cherish those memories. A bride, a groom, a dress, and heartfelt vows—surrounded by loved ones. It felt effortless. We had everything we needed to start our lives together—without a mountain of debt hanging over us. And we certainly didn’t expect our bridesmaids and groomsmen to incur exorbitant costs to stand by our sides.
Recently, a friend shared her financial woes about being part of her best friend’s wedding. The list of expenses she was incurring was staggering, and I was shocked to see how her friend had transformed into a “bridezilla” the moment she got engaged. Seriously, what’s with the inflated expectations, brides?
Let’s be real; I don’t have the budget for a custom couture gown. And spare me the “you’ll wear it again” nonsense. We both know that bridesmaid dress will end up crumpled at the back of my closet for eternity. And don’t even get me started on those destination bachelorette parties that demand plane tickets and a week off work.
Brides, I enjoy a girls’ getaway as much as anyone, but asking me to fork over a small fortune for a “last fling before the ring” is a bit much. I bet your bridesmaids would be thrilled to celebrate with a spa day or a nice dinner at your favorite restaurant instead. It’s not only more fun; it’s also a way more budget-friendly option than a lavish trip to Vegas.
Before you label me a bad friend, understand this: when my friends announce their weddings, I genuinely celebrate with them. I cherish my own wedding memories. But the expectation that bridesmaids should take out loans to stand next to their friends is beyond me. From gowns that cost more than my first home to venues that rival royal palaces, weddings have spiraled out of control.
While everyone is entitled to spend their wedding budget how they see fit, expecting bridesmaids and groomsmen to break the bank is just inconsiderate. Perhaps a little less spending on trendy decor and more focus on what truly matters would be wise. After all, your wedding is a reflection of your love for your partner, and while it’s great to feel like a princess for a day, remember that your friends want to support you too.
They don’t deserve to be burdened with hefty costs. So, while I’ll gladly cheer you on from the crowd and celebrate your special moment, I’ll be politely declining the invitation to don a bridesmaid dress.
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Summary
In this article, the author expresses their reluctance to participate in extravagant weddings that demand excessive financial commitments from bridesmaids and groomsmen. Drawing from personal experiences, the author reflects on the simplicity of their own wedding and critiques the trend of expensive wedding expectations. They emphasize the importance of supporting friends while also advocating for a more considerate approach to wedding planning that doesn’t impose financial strain on loved ones.