Just like many viewers, I’m completely hooked on HGTV. Part of me loves dreaming about the improvements we could make to our home—if only time and budget allowed—but mostly, I find myself shouting at the screen. “Emma, are you seriously going to turn down that beautiful house because it doesn’t have quartz countertops?” “Opt for the mudroom, you guys!” “Jake, you knew this would be a cozy space; the show is called TINY HOUSE HUNTERS!”
The truth is, there’s not much reality in these so-called reality shows. First off, why does everyone seem to get along so perfectly? After a single DIY project with my partner, I’m ready to file for divorce. Can you imagine assembling IKEA furniture indefinitely? I refuse to believe that Alex and Mia never have disagreements amidst all their projects.
Moreover, anyone who’s tackled home renovations knows they are far from the seamless experience portrayed on television. These projects often exceed time frames and budgets, with everyone involved feeling irritable along the way.
Let’s take a peek at how our favorite HGTV shows might unfold if they were more true to life:
Fixer Upper
Alex and Mia are bickering about shiplap (again), while their kids scream and run around them. The children, influenced by their parents’ constant conflicts, drop some choice words. “Why does it smell like a farm in here?” the oldest child yells, referencing all the animals. “Maybe it’s all the nonsense coming out of your mouth!” Mia retorts before diving back into a spat with Alex over a potential lawsuit related to a bedbug issue stemming from one of her flea market hauls.
Beachfront Bargain Hunt
This show’s title could easily change to “Just Kidding, It’s Still Ridiculously Expensive.”
House Hunters
A couple sets out to find a home. The husband, a retail worker, dreams of a city home with vintage charm, while the wife, a student and part-time goat herder, prefers a country setting but wants a modern, open-concept space for entertaining. They tour three houses and argue over everything from kitchen layouts to reclaimed wood details. Eventually, they come to the stark realization that their budget isn’t $2 million since neither of them earns much. They reluctantly settle for financing an RV—the only thing they can afford—which they don’t even like. But hey, it won’t matter much in the long run; they both seem like terrible partners and will likely sell it in their inevitable divorce.
Tiny House Hunters
People come on this show to buy tiny homes but then complain about the small sizes and the claustrophobic feelings they evoke. Oh wait, that’s exactly how it plays out already!
Property Brothers
Twin siblings, Mark and not-Mark, persuade a family to invest $40,000 in renovations with the hope of selling their house for a profit of the same amount. However, the renovation costs skyrocket, and their first contractor bolts with their deposit. When the family refuses to pay the remaining fees, the contractor places a lien on the house. What started as a one-month project spirals into eight months of living in boxes, all while confined to the one room Mark deemed presentable. In the end, they barely break even. Mark finally decides to go solo, realizing he’s been carrying the weight of the show all along.
At the end of the day, HGTV isn’t really reality TV; it’s more like fantasy TV—and maybe that’s exactly what we enjoy about it. If you’re interested in understanding more about the journey of family planning, check out this insightful post on artificial insemination kits.
In summary, while HGTV offers us delightful escapism, the reality of home renovation and property buying is far messier and less glamorous than we see on screen.