Lifestyle
In a recent session with my counselor, a thoughtful woman in her early 30s, I found myself grappling with stress. My life as a devoted father of three, while managing two jobs, had become overwhelming. On my wife’s insistence, I sought professional guidance to help navigate the chaos.
Our conversation revolved around the familiar themes of work and family responsibilities. I was particularly frazzled, and my counselor suggested, “It sounds like you need a night off.” I chuckled at the idea. Parents of three young kids often share a laugh at the very notion of free time. Between obligations at work, kids’ sports, homework battles, and weekend chores, the idea of a break seemed far-fetched.
Many parents fall into this cycle. You wake up, dive into responsibilities, and pour every ounce of energy into your family and work. At the end of each day, there’s little left for self-care. This relentless routine may seem manageable for days, weeks, or even months, but year after year, it wears you down.
This was precisely why I was sitting in that therapist’s office.
“Why the laughter?” she asked.
“Because I just don’t see how it’s possible,” I replied. “Our schedule is packed.”
“But surely you and your partner can carve out some time for yourselves. Just a couple of hours each week. You have to schedule it, just like everything else,” she insisted.
Skeptical, I returned home to discuss it with my wife, Sarah. She chuckled at the suggestion as well, but as we explored the idea, we identified a few time slots where we could each take a breather. We settled on a plan: I would watch the kids while Sarah enjoyed her hobbies, and vice versa.
Sarah chose Thursday nights for a church group she attends once a month. The rest of the week, she pondered, “It’s been so long since I’ve had personal time that I may need to rediscover a hobby.” This realization hit hard; many mothers likely feel the same way, and I regretted not offering her time for herself sooner.
I love cycling, so I picked Sunday afternoons for my rides. As winter approaches, I’m unsure how I’ll spend this time, but I’m committed to figuring it out.
We established some guidelines to ensure our time off was truly enjoyable. For instance, our activities had to occur outside the home, and we committed to honoring this time without exceptions. If something came up, like unexpected work or family visits, we would reschedule.
For almost two months now, Sarah and I have been prioritizing our personal time. It’s been a game-changer, giving us both something to look forward to each week. I cherish my family, but I had forgotten the importance of taking care of myself.
After church each Sunday, I set off on my bike while Sarah handles the kids. I’ve noticed a positive shift in my mood, both at home and work. When stress arises, I find solace in knowing that Sunday rides are just around the corner.
Sarah seems to share this renewed energy. She’s joined a monthly book club and is considering a fitness class at the local pool. Sometimes she simply finds a quiet spot away from the kids to read, returning rejuvenated after I’ve put the children to bed.
I understand that many of you might initially react like I did when my counselor proposed scheduling personal time—laughing, shaking your head, and listing reasons why it’s impossible to carve out a moment for yourself. However, it took Sarah and me committing to our free time just as we schedule everything else. We no longer leave it to chance. We’ve made it a priority, and the results have been rewarding for our entire family.
If you can sit down with your spouse and identify a couple of small time slots each week, I encourage you to do so. If you struggle to make it happen, I get it—life is busy. But once you prioritize personal time, you’ll find that when you and your partner are together, you’re happier and less stressed. You both gain something to anticipate during the week, which can deepen your bond as you appreciate the gift of personal time.
For more insights on family dynamics and self-care, check out this post on couples’ fertility journeys, or learn more about IUI. For a broader perspective on maintaining balance in family life, visit Modern Family Blog.
Summary:
In the hustle of parenting and work, it’s crucial for couples to carve out time for self-care. Scheduling personal time, even just a few hours each week, can significantly improve overall well-being and strengthen relationships. By prioritizing this time, you not only recharge individually but also enhance your connection with your partner.