Is your mind in overdrive? Because mine certainly is—constantly whirring like a marathon runner at mile 25, ready for the daily race of motherhood to wrap up. This isn’t your typical headache from everyday parenting pressures: the sleepless nights, the toddler tantrums, or the eye-rolling from a moody teenager. No, this is a throbbing cry that echoes, “I can’t handle another decision! Someone else take the reins! Just tell me what to do!”
Did you know that the human brain is responsible for around 35,000 decisions a day? Most of these are subconscious choices made through a blend of instinct and reasoning. If a neuroscientist were to examine the number of decisions made by an average mother daily, the figure might easily double.
From the moment that fateful line appears on a pregnancy test, our decision-making gears grind into high speed. Moms are naturally inclined to take charge; each choice we make has a ripple effect on the lives of those around us. For nine months, we meticulously consider every food, action, plan, word, and purchase. Once the little ones arrive, the number and the stakes of our decisions skyrocket. Daily, we find ourselves inundated with questions: “Yes, we should do that. No, not this. Should we try that? Why? Why not? What about this? And that?” We become multitasking machines—cooking, driving, cleaning, answering questions, and making choices at an overwhelming pace.
Dinner plans, carpool schedules, work meetings, school events, doctor appointments, fitness goals, parenting aspirations—decisions multiply exponentially!
Then, one evening during date night, your partner turns to you and asks, “Where should we eat, and what movie do you want to see?” And just like that, your head feels like it’s about to explode, the pressure of countless parenting, marital, and life decisions finally reaching its breaking point.
You glance at your kind-hearted partner, who is blissfully unaware of the mental chaos swirling in your mind, and you assert, “I. Can’t. Make. Another. Decision. Today. Or maybe ever again.” Instantly, the burden of dinner and movie choices lifts, and a wave of relief washes over you.
That blissful calm? I crave it repeatedly. The only way to achieve it is to relinquish control and allow others to take on some of the decision-making. This modern generation of mothers faces more choices than ever, from the array of ketchup options at the grocery store—where our own mothers had just two choices—to a limitless world of parenting options. While more choices can seem liberating, they often lead to mental fatigue and anxiety. We mothers are overwhelmed, and even grocery stores recognize that fewer choices can ease shopper anxiety and promote spending.
So, how can we apply this to motherhood? Perhaps the reason many mothers feel perpetually anxious is that the weight of our decisions clogs our minds. Here’s the scoop: You have the right to step back and allow others to decide!
Transforming ingrained habits of managing everything is challenging, but the payoff is immense. I have never let go of so many decisions as I do now, not just with my spouse but also with my kids. The outcome of this gradual shift away from constant decision-making is nothing short of liberating. Tasks still get accomplished—albeit not always in the way I would have done them—but I’ve discovered the freedom that comes with letting go.
Embracing the fact that moms don’t have to shoulder every decision has made me a happier, calmer parent. And, really, being a content mom is the best choice I’ve ever made. For more insights on motherhood and the decision-making process, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination or explore our discussion on home insemination kits like the BabyMaker.
In summary, recognizing the need for shared responsibility in decision-making can significantly reduce the mental load on mothers. It’s time to embrace a more balanced approach to parenting, where letting go is not only acceptable but encouraged.