Parenting Insights from Laura Simmons
When I reflect on my childhood, I remember two girls whose bedtime was a strict 7:30 p.m. — they were just 7 and 5 years old. If my kids, aged 7 and 5, have eaten their evening snack by that time, I’d be utterly shocked. Depending on the day, I can count the times we’ve wrapped up bedtime by 8:30 p.m. on one hand. Sure, there are instances when one of them dozes off at 7 p.m. after an early rise at 5 a.m., but generally speaking, my children embrace their night owl tendencies. They typically start feeling sleepy around 9:30 p.m. Instead of forcing them to lie down for an hour, we put them in pajamas at 9:30 and aim to finish the bedtime routine by 10 p.m. And if they’re happily engrossed in Lego play without bickering, they might even stay up until 11 p.m.
Late nights? Not an issue for us.
We’re not alone in this. While some parents have their kids tucked in at exactly 8 p.m., there are those of us blessed (or cursed) with little night owls. Unfortunately, we often feel stigmatized for it. Society dictates that children should have a bedtime, ideally between 7:30 and 8:30 p.m. Deviating from this norm is often viewed as indicative of a disorganized family life.
So, what do my kids occupy themselves with during those late hours? They engage in the same activities they do throughout the day: playing, constructing intricate Lego masterpieces, and occasionally wreaking havoc in their rooms, which will certainly have consequences come morning. They watch TV shows, and as I write this at 7:15 p.m., they’re currently racing around with planes they built from kits while intermittently watching Animaniacs. It’s just an extension of their day.
Of course, the question arises: when do we parents get our alone time? Many of us night owl parents are night owls ourselves or at least adjust to accommodate our children’s schedules. We spend time with them while they play and extend that to our own activities after they finally sleep. Like typical families, we tackle chores while they’re awake; we can’t afford to wait until they’re in bed. If we did, nothing would ever get done, and our precious alone time would vanish.
People often suggest we should establish a “better” routine. Trust me, every night owl parent has tried it. We’ve tucked them in, only to witness one of two scenarios: they either get up to play or lay there demanding bathroom breaks, water, or just plain yelling. Alternatively, we’ve found ourselves lying next to them as they kick and scream, dragging the bedtime process out for hours.
Have you ever attempted to make a child sleep against their will? It’s a frustrating experience for everyone involved.
Eventually, we threw in the towel. We either allowed our kids to get up or released them from our grip, waiting until they were genuinely tired before trying again. For my kids, that’s usually around 9:30 or 10 p.m. When they finally hit the pillow, they fall asleep almost instantly. We don’t have elaborate bedtime rituals; it’s a simple process: pajamas on, lights out, and snooze time.
Do I sometimes wish they’d go to bed earlier? Absolutely, especially on days when early wake-ups are necessary. We homeschool, so that’s generally not a concern. However, if I have an early appointment, I need them up for the sitter. Every night owl family experiences moments like these, when we wistfully think, “Why can’t you just sleep like the other kids?” But we adapt. We gently shake them awake, sing their favorite Hamilton songs at full volume, and brace ourselves for their morning grumpiness. Breakfast is often the only thing that truly rouses them, usually eaten in a sullen silence. It can be tough, but the late summer nights are worth it.
We embark on toad hunts, search for slugs, and gaze at the stars, all while catching lightning bugs. We can squeeze in room clean-up before bedtime without starting the routine at 6 p.m. Our kids, like yours, are happy; they simply have a different internal clock. Their circadian rhythms differ from other children’s, and that’s perfectly normal. We don’t criticize adults for their varied sleep schedules, so why should we do the same for kids? It’s all about finding a balance, and as night owl parents, we’ve learned to embrace it.
And spare us the lectures — our kids are thriving and healthy, just like yours.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, consider checking out this article for expert advice, or explore this resource for more on pregnancy and home insemination.