As a mother, I find myself constantly tidying up the living room throws. We have a couple of cozy crocheted blankets and a soft wool throw that I meticulously fold and place on the couch. Yet, it seems that my family—my partner and our three children—often drag them back to the floor. The fancy throws in our formal living room, which include a luxurious Irish wool blanket and a cashmere gift, are no exception. My husband and sons treat them like playthings, tossing them around to create makeshift forts or allowing our dogs to lounge on them. It’s up to me to restore order, folding each blanket back into place, only to repeat this task six times a day. This small yet relentless chore often goes unnoticed by everyone else.
Similar unnoticed tasks fill my day. I’m the one who straightens the throw rugs throughout the house, picks up scattered pillows, and tidies the toys that end up everywhere. These are the unsung tasks of motherhood—mundane yet essential duties that often feel thankless. Over time, the lack of acknowledgment can wear on your spirit. You begin to feel invisible, as if your contributions are taken for granted.
I don’t mind handling the larger chores like laundry, cleaning bathrooms, or dealing with the occasional mess from our pets. These tasks usually garner some recognition, especially from my husband, who kindly thanks me for my efforts. That small acknowledgment makes the work feel worthwhile. It’s a way for him to understand that I’m doing it all out of love for our family.
But then there are the countless little things—the marbles I pick up that our youngest tosses around, the collectibles I put away for the kids, and the small items I stash in a makeshift container on the side table. These actions go unnoticed, and the thought of it can be disheartening.
There’s a well-known metaphor in Catholic teachings about the grandeur of cathedrals: we remember the architect, but not the laborers who poured their hearts into creating beauty. This often reflects the self-sacrificing nature of motherhood. While I know these tasks are part of my role, I still crave a moment of recognition—a simple acknowledgment of my efforts, whether it’s someone noticing the six times I folded that blanket or appreciating the small details I manage throughout the day.
Some might call this whining, suggesting I should accept the reality of being a stay-at-home mom. While I understand the sentiment, that doesn’t ease the frustration I feel while picking up stray Lego pieces or cleaning up the aftermath of a family dinner. It’s not the tasks themselves that burden me; it’s the feeling of being overlooked by the very people I work so hard for.
Every day, I hang the hand towels in the bathroom, take out the trash, and prepare my children’s outfits—down to their underwear—making sure everything is just right. I check the medicine cabinet for expired items and stock up on essentials. All these efforts, though vital, often go unnoticed, leaving me to ponder what it truly means to be a mother. Is this the essence of love? Because, quite frankly, it can be exhausting.
When I’ve tried to share my feelings with my husband, he has offered advice, suggesting I let go of the mess and allow the kids to take responsibility. While I appreciate the intention, I still feel a sense of responsibility that weighs on me. I want to share the load without placing undue pressure on my eldest child.
So, I continue to fold, organize, and tidy up, waiting for someone to notice my efforts.
For more insights into motherhood and parenting, check out this article on what it means to be a mother. If you’re considering starting a family, you might find valuable resources on pregnancy as well as information about home insemination kits that can help you on your journey.
Summary:
In the daily grind of motherhood, many tasks go unnoticed, leading to feelings of invisibility and frustration. While larger chores may receive recognition, the countless small efforts—like folding blankets or picking up toys—often remain unacknowledged. This blog post explores the emotional weight of these unnoticed contributions and the desire for appreciation in the family dynamic.