In my journey living with autism, I often find myself wanting to address a common misconception: that there is a specific “look” associated with autism. The reality is that autism manifests differently in each individual, affecting everything from social interactions to sensory processing.
My name is Sarah, and I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, coupled with ADHD, which complicates my attention span and behavior. Despite this, I’ve encountered numerous individuals who dismiss my diagnosis, saying things like, “You don’t seem autistic,” or “I know someone with Asperger’s, and you don’t fit the mold.” The most condescending response I’ve heard is, “You’re doing fine compared to others; there’s nothing to worry about.” Even when I explain my condition, many remain unconvinced, relying on superficial judgments based on my appearance.
When I probe further, asking what sets me apart from other autistic individuals, the answer often boils down to how I look. Yes, the fact that I sometimes wear makeup and dresses leads others to question my authenticity. This experience is not unique to me; many others on the spectrum feel their diagnoses are overlooked for similar reasons.
I want to share my story to foster understanding and awareness about autism, particularly regarding invisible disabilities. Diagnosed at 20, I struggled with developmental milestones as a child; I walked and talked later than most and started school at nearly six years old. My time in school was challenging; I often felt lost and was misdiagnosed with dyslexia due to my social and academic struggles. Teachers recommended socialization groups, yet they never considered the possibility that I might be autistic.
As a child, distractions were my nemesis. I needed to sit away from windows to focus, and despite attending an Irish school for four years, I often couldn’t grasp the work being presented. Friendships were scarce; I relied heavily on my sister for companionship. Growing up, I faced bullying for being different—labeled as hyper, strange, or annoying—because I struggled to navigate social norms and often took things literally.
In the workforce, my experiences have been similarly tumultuous. No job lasted longer than three months, despite my diligence and willingness to work overtime. I was often told my communication skills, awkwardness, and lack of eye contact were barriers to my success. One employer suggested that perhaps customer service roles weren’t suited for me due to my challenges with face-to-face interactions. It felt like no matter how hard I tried, I was destined to fall short.
Academically, I experienced significant hurdles. I was placed in the Leaving Certificate Applied programme, which is designed for students transitioning directly into the workforce. Despite my passion for learning and earning multiple awards for effort, I often struggled to pass basic classes. I once believed that a degree was unattainable, but with the right support, I am now entering my second year in college, though challenges persist.
Sensory processing is another aspect of autism that affects my daily life. I can become easily overwhelmed by sounds or brightness; I require earplugs to sleep and often need to step outside if a room feels too stuffy. Social events can be particularly challenging, as noise and crowd dynamics can lead me to leave early or feel uncomfortable.
I also engage in stimming, a common behavior among autistic individuals. While I can mask this in public, at home, I often rock side to side as a calming mechanism. Additionally, many individuals on the spectrum have special interests. Currently, mine revolves around technology, particularly Steve Jobs and Apple. I tend to get carried away discussing these topics, as they provide me comfort in social situations where I might otherwise struggle to maintain a conversation.
So, the next time someone thinks I don’t “look” autistic enough, I hope they remember that autism is not defined by appearance. It encompasses a variety of traits and challenges, and every individual on the spectrum has a unique experience. Understanding and acceptance are crucial for fostering an inclusive community for everyone, regardless of their diagnosis.
For more information on family building options, visit Resolve.org. If you’re interested in improving your fertility, check out this post on fertility supplements. Additionally, for a deeper understanding of autism, consider reading this comprehensive article.