Teachers: 5 Effective Strategies to Foster Positive Relationships with Parents of Special Needs Students

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The other day, my phone rang just as my children were returning from school. For those unfamiliar with the concept of a “home phone,” it’s that device tethered to the wall, incapable of sending hashtags. Typically, I continue what I’m doing when it rings, unless I’m feeling particularly mischievous toward the telemarketer on the other end. The only other reason it rings is if someone at school doesn’t know to call my cell—a scenario that often sends a chill down my spine. So, I answered.

“Mrs. Bennett?” My heart raced. It was my son’s new science teacher, calling to share some good news. “First off, let me just say, I think your son is hilarious. He created this cartoon strip…” He went on to praise my son’s creativity, and I waited for the “but” that never came. He simply wanted to share the joy of having a great kid in his class.

Having navigated the school system for a while, I wasn’t naïve. Earlier that day, I had sent a gentle reminder to another teacher to review my son’s Individualized Education Program (IEP), as important aspects were not being followed. Coincidence that I received such a positive call on the same day? Perhaps not. It’s likely that the science teacher had been prompted to remember he had a student with special needs in his fourth-period class.

Unfortunately, what struck me most about that uplifting call was that in the three years my younger son—a child with significant speech challenges—has been enrolled in public school, I had never once received a phone call from a general education teacher just to discuss his day. To clarify: 1) My son makes daily attempts to share his experiences, but without context, we struggle to understand him, and 2) I have actively sought communication from his teachers year after year, often to no avail.

So, teachers, here’s some free advice to keep special needs parents feeling supported and engaged:

  1. Reach Out Early
    Before the school year kicks off, take the initiative to call and introduce yourself. Ask about our child and provide your contact information. Reassure us that you will act as an extra set of eyes and ears for a child who often has difficulty expressing themselves.
  2. Don’t Rely Solely on Intervention Specialists
    My child receives only 30–60 minutes of direct support from an intervention specialist each day as outlined in his IEP. The paraprofessionals who work with him throughout the day cannot communicate directly with me due to their classified status, which means we often get limited information. We miss out on knowing if he made new friends or faced challenges. Context is essential for understanding our child’s experiences and for asking pertinent questions.
  3. Invite Parent Participation
    Encourage us to volunteer, observe, or share insights about our children with the class. It’s important to note that due to HIPAA regulations, teachers cannot disclose details about our child’s diagnoses to their peers. However, parental involvement can greatly enhance an inclusive environment. If a parent is hesitant, consider including the intervention specialist to facilitate the conversation.
  4. Acknowledge Our Understanding of Your Challenges
    We recognize the immense demands placed on teachers—large class sizes, accountability for test scores, and diverse student needs. We’re not trying to catch you off guard. A simple 10-minute phone call each month can keep us informed and foster goodwill. Consistent communication can lead to positive feedback reaching your principal.
  5. Differentiate Between Inclusion and Integration
    Inclusion isn’t merely placing our children at a desk like their peers; it means ensuring that their contributions and needs are acknowledged. Whether it’s featuring their photos on a bulletin board or devising inclusive questions during class discussions, our children deserve to be seen and heard. Consult with their intervention specialist for strategies that can help bridge the gap.

Bonus Insight: The Most Challenging Parents Can Be Your Strongest Allies

Yes, we are proactive advocates for our children. We strive to understand and fulfill the needs of both our kids and teachers. Sometimes, we may even anticipate what you require without you having to say a word.

Remember, the journey for parents of children with special needs began just like any other parent’s. We all desire to know about our children’s experiences at school. Your involvement is the vital link that keeps us informed and connected.

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In summary, open lines of communication, proactive engagement, and genuine recognition of our unique challenges can create a harmonious relationship between teachers and parents of special needs children.