When my oldest child was mastering reading, he frequently turned to me for help. “What does this say, Mom?” he would ask, his eagerness palpable. “What do you think?” I’d reply. “Let’s break it down.” His reaction? A frustrated yell of “Just tell me!” I completely understood his annoyance. Learning can be a slow and challenging journey, and the temptation to simply provide the answer is strong—it certainly leads to fewer tantrums and tears, both his and mine.
However, if we truly want to set our children up for success and cultivate a generation of insightful leaders, the “just tell me” mindset simply won’t cut it. Unfortunately, our current education system, with its heavy reliance on standardized testing and grades, perpetuates this approach to learning. As developmental psychologist Dr. Lucy Hart, co-author of the insightful book Raising Brilliant Kids, noted in a recent interview, “We are training children to replicate what computers do, which is regurgitating facts, and computers will always outshine humans in that regard.”
Dr. Hart has not only contributed to the conversation on raising successful children, but she also has a stellar track record—her daughter, Sarah Hart, is a renowned scientist making waves in her field. So, what guidance does this accomplished mother offer for nurturing our children? First and foremost, we must redefine our understanding of success.
“Computers excel at facts, but they can’t match us in areas like social interaction and community engagement. We need to rethink what success looks like, both in and out of educational settings,” Dr. Hart emphasizes. Along with her co-author, Dr. Jennifer Gold, they advocate for a “21st-century report card” focusing on six essential skills: collaboration, communication, content mastery, critical thinking, creative innovation, and confidence. According to their research, critical thinking is crucial for bridging reasoning gaps and fostering breakthroughs in any discipline.
In other words, if our goal is to raise successful kids, we need to stop fretting over test scores and instead prioritize teaching them how to think critically. We shouldn’t yield to their demands for quick answers. And we must resist the urge to respond with “just because” when faced with challenging inquiries from our children.
I confess that I fall short in this area more often than I’d like to admit, especially with questions like “Why do leaves change color?” or “Why can’t everyone have a home?” Instead of offering simple answers, Dr. Hart and Dr. Gold suggest we respond with more questions, prompting our children to explore deeper and consider different perspectives on an issue.
What’s particularly compelling about their approach is the connection they draw between critical thinking and empathy. The ability to think critically about a situation and understand why someone may hold a different view is increasingly vital in our polarized society. We live in a time where the phrase “fake news” is thrown around whenever someone encounters information they dislike or that contradicts their beliefs. It’s essential that we equip our children with the skills to navigate this complex landscape.
My father once told me that the greatest lesson college offers is not what to think, but how to think. He was right. During my college years, I developed the ability to critically analyze issues and concepts in ways I had never experienced before. It was daunting yet exhilarating. But if we wait until college to teach our children critical thinking, are we not throwing them into the deep end without the skills to stay afloat? We need to start this journey today.
The encouraging news is that, as parents, we can foster critical thinking in our children, even outside the confines of standardized tests. Learning is a social process, and it can serve as a means for us to connect and engage with our kids, rather than merely relying on grades as a measure of success.
On a recent family road trip, my 10-year-old son initiated a “lawyer game,” where he would tackle dilemmas and advocate for one side. As lawyers ourselves, my partner and I eagerly participated. He took one stance while I took the opposite, and our son played the role of the judge. We provided him with foundational information, tips for research, and encouraged him to consider counterarguments. This experience was not just entertaining; it was a valuable lesson in empathy, critical thinking, and self-expression.
Let’s be honest; responding with “just because” or “because I said so” is far easier. Engaging in lengthy, often exhausting discussions with our kids can be challenging, especially after a long day. But in a world where misinformation runs rampant, it’s more important than ever to teach our children to think critically about the world they inhabit.
Why is this crucial? Because science says it is.
For more on fostering critical thinking and successful parenting strategies, check out this resource on in-vitro fertilization as well as this insightful post on fertility boosters for men. You can also visit Modern Family Blog for additional expert insights on parenting.
In summary, let’s shift our focus away from standardized test scores and prioritize nurturing critical thinkers who can engage meaningfully with the world.