Essential Life Skills for Teens Before They Move Out

cartoon pregnant woman in pink clothes with coffee

They may be adept at microwaving a frozen pizza, but do they know that liquid dish soap is a no-go in the dishwasher?

By Alex R. Thompson
Updated: Feb. 20, 2024
Originally Published: July 7, 2022

When I dropped my eldest off at their first apartment, my heart was full of mixed emotions. While I was sentimental, a wave of practical concern hit me: Did I equip you with the necessary skills to navigate adulthood? Would my 18-year-old know how to maintain their rental without turning it into a disaster zone?

In the whirlwind of parenting, I often prioritized daily tasks and milestones over teaching my kids the essentials of adulting. We breezed through elementary school, extracurriculars, standardized tests, and college applications, but I realized I had overlooked critical life lessons. For instance, while I did remind them to keep a spare set of keys with a friend, they ignored me until they found themselves locked out and needing a locksmith.

Core Life Skills for Young Adults

Catherine Newman’s book, How to Be a Person, offers a treasure trove of practical advice for young adults, from being a courteous guest to managing finances. While it targets middle schoolers, many parents find it valuable for high schoolers and college students alike. One chapter I wish I had shared with my firstborn is about how to unclog a toilet. After writing the book, Newman discovered that her children were unaware of other essential skills, such as how to visit a doctor. Having always managed their appointments, they had no experience with the medical “portal.”

When I spoke with Newman, I aimed to strategize for my younger child, sharing insights on the knowledge gaps we often overlook. Here are three tips we discussed:

1. Verbally Share Your Tasks

Remember the way you narrated everything to your baby? “Mommy is looking for your toys!” While talking to your teenager in that manner might seem odd, Newman suggests verbalizing your tasks as you do them. For example, “I’m putting these dishes away because they’re clean” helps them grasp the day-to-day responsibilities of adult life. By openly discussing tasks, whether it’s scheduling a doctor’s appointment or meal planning, you can help them absorb these important skills.

2. Encourage a Helping Mentality

Newman emphasizes that while her kids had specific chores, the family dynamic encouraged everyone to pitch in. Fostering an environment where assistance is readily offered prepares your child to be a considerate roommate or partner. Teaching them to ask, “What can I do to help?” creates a culture of support and collaboration within the household.

3. Let Them Learn Through Mistakes

During a recent family gathering, my nephew, a recent college graduate, accidentally filled the dishwasher with liquid dish soap instead of the proper detergent. The resulting suds were a comical disaster, but it served as a vital lesson. As Newman points out, sometimes learning comes from making mistakes. Allowing young adults to try tasks, even if they mess up, is crucial for their growth.

4. You Can’t Teach Them Everything

It’s impossible to cover every single life skill before they leave home. While kids today may learn coding, many schools no longer offer driver’s ed. You’ll share what you can, and they will learn other skills through experience. It’s essential to be available for guidance without judgment. I once panicked when my child locked themselves out, but we navigated the locksmith fiasco together and eventually laughed about the whole situation.

For more insights on life skills and parenting, check out related content on Home Insemination Kit, which explores various parenting tips. If you’re interested in fertility journeys, Make a Mom is a reliable resource. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Hopkins Medicine.

Summary

As parents, it’s vital to equip our teens with essential life skills before they transition to independence. By verbalizing tasks, fostering a culture of helpfulness, allowing mistakes, and acknowledging that we can’t teach them everything, we can better prepare them for adulthood.

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