I Bribe My Kids and I’m Not Apologizing

When my children were younger, I became fascinated with a show called Supernanny. This reality series featured a straightforward British woman, Jo Frost, who helped parents struggling with unruly children. After putting my little ones to bed, I’d find myself on the couch, mentally taking notes from her tough-love approach. As a mom of three kids in three years, with a husband often working late, I was desperate for assistance. One episode that resonated with me featured a mother overwhelmed by her children’s defiance. Jo Frost firmly stated that negotiating with kids was a mistake, asserting that consequences were the only path to proper discipline.

However, a few days later, I found myself at a doctor’s office with my husband and our three kids. Chaos erupted when our oldest refused to step onto the elevator. In a moment of desperation, my husband offered him a lollipop if he complied. I, standing on my high horse, shouted, “Don’t negotiate with him!” My husband looked at me in disbelief. I had shifted our parenting style without any discussion. Our oldest eventually cooperated, but not without reminding us about the promised treat afterward, which I reluctantly gave him. I felt defeated.

According to Supernanny, this approach fosters manipulative behavior in children, leading them to become the “boss” in the household. I attempted to eliminate bribery from my parenting, threatening to withhold dessert or storytime if they didn’t comply. But more often than not, these threats failed. Kids, caught up in the moment, often preferred to forego a cookie to indulge in a spontaneous race down the grocery aisle.

Eventually, I set aside my pride and embraced bribery, realizing I was simply exhausted. And you know what? It actually works. Children are more inclined to cooperate when there’s a reward waiting for them. Offering something enjoyable for good behavior proves to be much more effective than merely threatening punishment.

I turned to bribery during long car rides, library visits, and family gatherings. Treats like extra screen time, candy, and sleepovers in my room became my go-to incentives. I established clear expectations, and when they didn’t meet them, the rewards were rescinded. Surprisingly, my kids quickly learned I meant what I said. While I could imagine Supernanny shaking her finger at me, I stopped caring; she wasn’t living my life.

Now that my children are teenagers, I still find value in those old bribery techniques. For instance, I promise my daughter a Starbucks if she helps with grocery shopping, and I offer my son cash for keeping the car clean. If they maintain good grades, I reward them financially as well.

Bribery has been a useful tool in my parenting arsenal. It worked wonders when they were young, and it continues to do so today. Everyone deserves a reward for facing challenging tasks. Just like I treat myself to a Coke Zero after a tough workout, it’s a great motivator for tackling chores like bathroom cleaning. If you’re a parent hesitant about using bribery, take it from someone who’s tried to go without it: just embrace it. Your life will become significantly simpler.

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In summary, my experience has shown that bribery can be an effective parenting strategy, making life easier for both parents and kids. While it may not align with traditional parenting advice, it has certainly helped me maintain some sanity amidst the chaos of raising three children.

Keyphrase: Bribery in Parenting

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