Cauliflower Ice Cream: Why We Can’t Enjoy Our Treats Anymore

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Cauliflower ice cream has made its entrance, and of course, it did. Just as I was wrapping my head around the whole cauliflower pizza crust debate, this new culinary conundrum popped up on my radar.

Let’s be clear: cauliflower pizza crust is a concept that should be retired. It’s merely smashed cauliflower with some tomato sauce and cheese on top. Referring to it as pizza is akin to slapping tomato sauce on a tortilla and calling it a meal. Honestly, what are we doing here?

Before you come after me with pitchforks, allow me to clarify: if you genuinely cannot consume gluten or dairy, you have my full sympathy. You’re free to enjoy whatever works for your dietary needs without judgment. This discussion, however, is aimed at those who are allured by the latest “wellness” trends (read: diet fads) and then insist on subjecting the rest of us to their experiments on pizza night. Pizza night is a sacred tradition, and I refuse to have it desecrated by your mashed cauliflower concoctions.

Now, back to the topic of cauliflower ice cream—it’s real, and yes, it’s as perplexing as it sounds. The ingredients list includes six ounces of frozen riced cauliflower, four ounces of frozen strawberries, 1/4 cup of frozen pitaya puree (whatever that is), sweetened condensed coconut milk, cinnamon, and vanilla bean paste. And voila! You could very well make anyone shed tears over this.

If you’re on the hunt for non-dairy ice cream, there are countless delicious alternatives available today. Coconut ice cream is a delightful option, and you can even freeze a banana and blend it in a food processor for a creamy treat without falling into the abyss of culinary blasphemy. Cauliflower will always taste like cauliflower, no matter how you try to disguise it—and that’s a fact you won’t be able to change.

Now, I’m curious enough to try this bizarre treat, but first, I need to track down some pitaya. If you’re interested in pregnancy and family-building options, you can check out this excellent resource on family building options. And if you’re looking for practical advice on home insemination, visit this link to explore our other blog post. Also, for more insights on parenting, Modern Family Blog offers a wealth of information.

To wrap it up: cauliflower ice cream is yet another bizarre trend that leaves many of us questioning what we can eat without being subjected to culinary experiments. Let’s save our pizza nights and dessert treats from these latest fads and stick to what we know and love.