The ‘Encanto’ Song That Captures My Feelings About Motherhood Right Now

pregnant woman in blue dress with coffee mug

Updated: Feb. 3, 2022
Originally Published: Feb. 2, 2022

While everyone is buzzing about not discussing Bruno, it’s actually “Surface Pressure” that resonates with me the most.

I was experiencing one of those “normal” pandemic days—juggling a full-time job, being a single mom, anxiously scanning for COVID exposure emails from the school, and cleaning up cat messes. After mustering my last bit of energy to make dinner (seriously, how do we manage to do this every single night?), I plopped down on the couch beside my kids, who were engrossed in Disney’s latest animated film, Encanto. I figured it was decent enough.

I tapped my feet to a couple of catchy tunes penned by the talented Lin-Manuel Miranda while toggling between work on my phone and playing a few rounds of Wordle. Then Louisa began to sing, and it halted me completely.

“Surface Pressure” explores the life of Louisa, a middle child and the eldest daughter, who possesses incredible strength. While she takes pride in her ability to help others, she grapples with the weight of expectations and wonders how long she can keep it up. Her lyrics resonated with my own experiences as a single parent and an older sibling.

She expresses:
“I don’t ask how hard the work is
Got a tough, unbreakable exterior
Diamonds and platinum, I find them, I flatten them
I take what I’m given, I break what’s demanding
But…
Beneath the surface, I feel worthless if I can’t be of service.”

Once I finished my secret tears into my dinner, I pondered if other moms felt this way too. Spoiler alert: they do!

The song is climbing the music charts, hitting #9 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the week of February 5, and it was the fourth most-streamed song the last week of January, according to Billboard.

On social media, mothers shared how Louisa perfectly encapsulated the struggles many are facing during the pandemic—balancing childcare amidst uncertainty, safeguarding unvaccinated children, managing tight finances, and maintaining a façade of strength despite feeling overwhelmed.

The lyrics continue:
“Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won’t let go, whoa
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick until it’s ready to blow, whoa
Give it to your sister, your sister’s stronger
See if she can hold on a little longer
Who am I if I can’t carry it all?”

Disney songs often tug at our heartstrings; for instance, Moana’s “How Far I’ll Go” was empowering, and Frozen’s “Let It Go” echoed my desire for solitude in an ice palace. But “Surface Pressure” uniquely captures my feelings as a mother trying to do right by my kids and everyone else, while appearing strong on the outside, even when my strength is waning.

From childhood, we’re conditioned to be like Louisa—assisting siblings, managing homes, then transitioning into motherhood. We’re led to believe that our worth is tied to our ability to support our families while suppressing our own feelings. We’re taught to exhibit superhuman strength, as long as we disregard our needs. We’re told to overlook the pressure and appreciate what we have, even if it feels overwhelming.

How can we not get emotional when she sings, “I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service,” and reflect on the vast emotional labor we’ve contributed over the years, especially during the pandemic? It’s heartening to know our children are watching this movie and learning that just because you have the strength to carry burdens doesn’t mean you should bear them all alone. Plus, let’s not forget how catchy that song is!

For more on motherhood and family dynamics, check out this other blog post. If you’re interested in home insemination, Make A Mom offers comprehensive resources on the topic, while WHO provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.

The ‘Encanto’ Song That Captures My Feelings About Motherhood Right Now

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