7 ‘Mean Mom’ Traits I Embrace Without Regret

Parenting is a challenging journey, and any parent can attest to that. Gone are the days when I would fall asleep thinking about the latest plot twist in my favorite show; now I lie awake replaying my day, questioning whether I’ve been harsh or if I’ve given my kids enough attention. Did I raise my voice too often? Was I too tough on my son when he playfully tackled his sister? Did I manage to serve them enough vegetables? I often remind myself that each day is a new opportunity, a fresh start to do better. Some days, I succeed. Other days, I feel overwhelmed.

Lately, I’ve come to accept that I’m a “mean mom.” Yep, I said it. Just don’t let my kids catch wind of my admission. My four-year-old has shouted that I’ve ruined his fun or even his life when facing consequences, and I can admit, it stings a bit. However, upon reflection, he might have a point—sometimes I do spoil their fun, but I know deep down that my actions won’t ruin their lives. I’m learning to embrace this side of me.

Here are seven traits that make me a mean mom—but they certainly don’t make me a bad one.

1. I Don’t Always Play With Them

I engage in plenty of fun activities with my kids, from park outings to picnics. However, there are times I just don’t feel like jumping on the trampoline or engaging in a water fight. When I say no, it’s essential for my kids to grasp that not everything revolves around them and that everyone deserves a break.

2. I’m Not Always Willing to Share

While I believe in sharing, I struggle when it comes to food. Sure, I’ll sneak a bite of their snack, but when they start asking for my meal, I draw the line. They have their own plate with identical food, so they can stick to that.

3. They Clean Up After Themselves

I might not be the type to stress too much over messes while making memories, but honestly, I can’t handle the chaos. My kids are learning to tidy up after their playtime, and it’s a victory for us all.

4. No Made-to-Order Meals

I enjoy cooking, but I won’t cater to my kids’ every whim. I prepare meals I think they’ll enjoy, and they need to give it a fair shot. If they can’t handle it, PB&J is on the menu until they’re old enough to make it themselves.

5. One More Chance Means One More Chance

I’ve learned the importance of setting boundaries. If I say they have one more chance to comply, I mean it. After two reminders, there’s a consequence. This helps establish clear expectations for them.

6. Consequences Matter

If my kids misbehave, they face the music. I aim to be consistent with consequences so they understand the behavior-reward system. I make sure not to promise something unreasonable, like taking away their favorite gadget for a week.

7. Sometimes I Yell

I’m not proud of this, and it’s something I’m actively working on. Yelling makes everyone feel bad, but it’s a human reaction. I strive to do better each day, aiming to keep my voice down, even when they push my buttons.

In sharing these traits, I hope my kids can one day look back and understand my intentions. I may have temporarily ruined their day or week, but I trust I haven’t ruined their life.

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