In recent years, our society has made significant strides in accepting children with special needs, which is commendable. However, there’s still a considerable gap in understanding the challenges faced by kids dealing with common mental health issues. These struggles often remain invisible and poorly comprehended by many.
Your neurotypical children may have friends battling depression or anxiety, and they could feel confused or hurt when these friends withdraw from social gatherings or seem uncommunicative. It’s essential to explain to them how anxiety and depression can impact a person’s brain, making everyday activities that many take for granted feel overwhelming.
Your child might know someone like my son, Jake. He’s genuinely a wonderful kid — funny, kind, and full of life…when he’s present. Unfortunately, there are times when he only participates partially, or he may be quiet and distracted. There are also moments when he has to leave unexpectedly without much of an explanation, or backs out of plans at the last minute, which is a frequent occurrence.
It’s easy for your child to misinterpret Jake’s actions as a lack of interest in their friendship. They might feel offended by his frequent cancellations, unaware that he struggles with a debilitating anxiety disorder. They may not realize that Jake would give anything to enjoy outings without hesitation, but often his brain simply won’t cooperate.
Parenting a child with mental health challenges has been enlightening. Many behaviors I once overlooked now make much more sense. Individuals I previously considered socially awkward or unreliable could very well be grappling with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. Research indicates that 1 in 5 American adults experience mental illness annually. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 46.3% of teenagers aged 13–18 have encountered a mental health disorder, with 21.4% facing a severe condition. This means that many kids are likely interacting with peers who are silently coping with these challenges.
For those of us who haven’t experienced mental health issues, understanding the perspectives of those who have can be daunting. That’s why it’s crucial for parents to educate themselves and their children about the impact of mental health disorders on individuals.
Initially, it’s vital to convey that the vast majority of people with mental health conditions are not “crazy” and are not inherently dangerous. Their brains may simply struggle with tasks that others find easy. For instance, Jake tends to fixate on worries that many can easily dismiss. No matter how much he tries, his mind doesn’t let go. While he’s undergoing therapy to help manage this, it doesn’t change the fact that he often has to cancel plans or miss out on social interactions.
Although Jake doesn’t experience depression, some symptoms can overlap. If his friends were unaware of his anxiety, they might jump to incorrect conclusions about his demeanor. Thankfully, Jake allowed me to inform his friends’ parents about his condition so they could explain it to their kids, helping them understand why he sometimes has to opt-out of activities.
When Jake is feeling well, he’s able to discuss his anxiety with his friends. However, during good moments, he prefers to focus on enjoying their time together rather than delving into his struggles. It’s been more effective for me to communicate this to them or for their parents to discuss it in an age-appropriate manner.
Your children likely have more friends with mental health issues than they realize. When challenges remain internalized, it complicates relationships for everyone involved. The more we, who may not face these struggles, strive to understand those who do, the better off everyone will be. Reducing stigma and promoting empathy can protect valuable friendships and foster a supportive environment.
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In summary, opening a dialogue about mental health with your children is essential. It fosters understanding, empathy, and stronger friendships, which can make a significant difference in the lives of those who struggle with these challenges.