A week prior to Mother’s Day, I woke up to a swollen, teary eye. I brushed it aside, attributing it to the hectic life of a mom, convinced it wasn’t anything serious. However, two days later, I discovered a small, painful lump on the outer corner of my eyelid.
After plenty of self-examination and internet research, I realized I had a chalazion—an issue that arises when the eyelid glands become blocked, trapping natural oils. The lump’s growth made it resemble an unwelcome pimple just begging to be popped, which my online searches advised against. My ophthalmologist confirmed this, instructing me to apply warm compresses several times a day, cleanse my eyelids with baby shampoo, and, most importantly, to avoid makeup around my eye entirely.
While I recognize there are far greater issues in the world, the thought of going makeup-free with a glaring red bump on my eyelid heightened my anxiety. I often pride myself on being indifferent to many things, yet the idea of exposing a blemish on my face was something I couldn’t easily dismiss. Yet, I knew it was crucial to prioritize my health and adhere to the doctor’s recommendations, no matter how challenging that felt.
Makeup isn’t a major part of my routine, but relinquishing my concealer, mascara, and occasional eyeliner proved to be a struggle. I couldn’t fathom applying blush when my eyes were clearly devoid of makeup and highlighted by a bright red bump. I simplified my regimen to just moisturizer and sunscreen, donned my sunglasses indoors and out, and tried to hide behind my side bangs that were growing out.
However, I quickly realized that this charade couldn’t continue indefinitely. I wished I could ignore the curious stares from friends or the mixed reactions from my kids, who were both fascinated and slightly horrified. I wanted to claim that my eyelid bump didn’t bother me since I was in my 40s and had begun to embrace “I don’t care” vibes, but that simply wasn’t the case.
The truth was, going without makeup made me feel exposed. My bare face displayed my exhaustion, stress, and the unsightly chalazion. I couldn’t mask the evidence of sleepless nights or my mental load with a swipe of concealer. The reality was staring me in the face, and it was long overdue for me to confront it.
Makeup can undoubtedly be empowering; it boosts our confidence and enhances our beauty. It can elevate us from everyday mothers to fabulous women, or simply uplift our spirits when we feel down. For me, however, it had turned into a means of camouflage—hiding my true feelings rather than addressing them. By covering up my under-eye circles and adding color to my cheeks, I could momentarily overlook my exhaustion and anxiety.
Yet, nothing dampened my spirits more than that persistent chalazion. I found myself spending hours each day applying a warm compress to my eye while listening to podcasts. I also dedicated time to examining my bare face in the mirror. Gradually, I began to accept my natural appearance, with its sprinkling of freckles and a new smile line. I recognized the improvements in my skin when I managed to get adequate rest or remembered to take my iron supplement.
In the mornings, I would gaze at my unadorned face and think, “What you see is what you get.” Some days, I saw a refreshed, rosy-cheeked version of myself. Other days, I recognized a woman who needed a weekend away in a quiet hotel room, perhaps with a few green smoothies, or mimosas—whichever. I learned to slow down on those tougher days, honoring my feelings of sadness, stress, or fatigue. Focusing on my needs became a new habit.
After nearly two months, the chalazion showed no signs of improvement. The ophthalmologist eventually drained it, leaving behind a minor scar. I was cleared to wear makeup again, which was fantastic, but surprisingly, I found myself feeling comfortable without it. I embraced the idea of presenting myself authentically, regardless of my appearance. While I don’t plan to abandon makeup altogether—it’s too enjoyable to give up completely—I’m relishing my bare face for now. It feels empowering, and for the first time in a while, I am genuinely at ease in my own skin.
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Summary:
This article narrates a personal journey of self-acceptance and empowerment through a makeup-free experience caused by a chalazion. It highlights the struggle of exposing oneself without cosmetics, the realization of inner strength, and ultimately embracing one’s natural beauty.