Living with a Compulsive Cleaner in a House of Messy Teens

pregnant woman in pink dress sitting on bed

I stepped into my teenager’s room yesterday because I realized we were out of bowls and glasses. And unsurprisingly, they awaited me in all their grimy splendor. The curtains were tangled on the rod, the bed was devoid of sheets, and the floor was a chaotic mix of clothes and items that might be trash — but who knows? I can’t count how many times I’ve tossed what I thought was garbage, only to discover it was more precious than gold.

I have three teens, and it’s no exaggeration to say they’re all messy. Their rooms resemble disaster zones, and I’ve often found myself overwhelmed by the chaos. In contrast, I am a compulsive cleaner, and dealing with three untidy kids has been incredibly challenging for me.

However, I’ve come to a realization. I’m not here to offer advice on how to make your messy kids tidy up because I’ve tried every trick in the book, and nothing works. Instead, I want to share how I’ve learned to cope, which has truly transformed my life. Instead of trying to change my kids (which I’ve attempted for a decade), I’ve trained myself to maintain my sanity when faced with their constant messes.

The First Step: Close the Doors

The first step? I close their doors. Simple, right? They may live in a chaotic space, but I don’t have to see it. Correction: I can’t afford to look at it. I used to stand in their rooms feeling like I might either scream or cry. The sight of makeup containers and dirty clothes strewn everywhere was enough to send me into a frenzy. It only led to arguments with my kids, who weren’t shy about saying I “needed everything to be perfect.”

I’d clean their rooms myself, only to see them revert back to chaos within minutes. Now, I just keep their doors shut. If I don’t see the mess, it doesn’t exist.

Establishing Rules for Shared Spaces

We’ve also established a rule that they must keep shared spaces tidy, or they lose their cell phones. I’ve realized that taking away their phones doesn’t really impact the state of their rooms. After all, it’s their space, and I believe they should have one area that’s their own. So, we’ve agreed: they can do what they want in their rooms (with certain exceptions), but they must keep communal areas clean. This means putting away their dishes, tossing out trash, and returning items to their rightful spots.

This approach has worked wonders, as they no longer feel the pressure to be “perfect.” Those are their words, not mine.

Practicing Deep Breathing

I also practice deep breathing. It sounds simple, but it truly helps. Taking a moment to breathe allows me to step back from the mess and focus on other things. I remind myself that my messy kids won’t always be living with me, and one day, I’ll miss them and the mess will be a distant memory.

That doesn’t mean I’ll miss the clutter itself. I don’t particularly enjoy tripping over my son’s size 12 shoes or bending down to pick up spoons from the floor. In the grand scheme of things, when they eventually move out, my house will be spotless, and I can relish in “perfection.” But it will also be empty, missing the three people I love most. I don’t want to spend these years arguing about cleanliness.

Further Insights

For more insights on navigating the challenges of parenting during these chaotic times, check out this other blog post that offers additional tips and perspectives. Also, for further information about home insemination, visit Make a Mom, an authority on the subject. If you’re looking for comprehensive resources on infertility, Women’s Health is also an excellent place to start.

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Summary

Living with three messy teenagers can be a challenge for a compulsive cleaner. Instead of trying to force my kids to tidy up, I’ve learned to close their doors and focus on shared spaces. By establishing rules about common areas and practicing deep breathing, I’ve found a way to cope with the chaos. Ultimately, I want to cherish the time I have with my kids rather than stress over their messy rooms.

Keyphrase: Living with messy teenagers
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