Allowing My Kids to Swear at Home - modernfamilyblog.com

Absolutely, I allow my kids to use swear words at home. While some parents might find it shocking to hear their child curse, I don’t see it as a major issue. Words have power, and I’m not particularly offended by the occasional expletive, even when it comes from my kids.

A Family Outing Gone Funny

One afternoon, during what was meant to be a sweet family outing, my eldest spotted a sign at a Dunkin’ Donuts that read, “So. Pumpkin. Good.” He burst into laughter and quipped, “Ha! Instead of so f*ckin’ good, it says so pumpkin good.” Trying to suppress my laughter, I asked why he’d say that word out loud. He replied, “I don’t know! My brain was saying, ‘Don’t say it. Don’t say it,’ but my mouth just went for it.” I completely understood where he was coming from; I’ve had moments like that myself in my 37 years of life. Clearly, he takes after me!

While some might think he deserved a reprimand, I chose to remind him to avoid using adult language too often and to limit it to our home or the car. We both shared a laugh about how unexpected it was for my typically well-behaved son to drop an F-bomb. What mattered most to me was that he felt no shame about it.

Understanding Humor and Language

In truth, his comment was quite perceptive. He grasped the humor behind the marketing phrase, and I appreciated that. I’m fine with him having a good laugh at a silly advertisement—just as long as he waits a few years before using that kind of language again.

This wasn’t the first time I’d heard my kids let a mild curse slip. They’ve occasionally exclaimed “damn it” or other similar words in our home. My kids are exposed to swearing daily, whether it’s from us, other adults, or various forms of media like TV, movies, and even songs I play while cleaning.

Creating a Healthy Environment Around Swearing

In our household, swearing is not a taboo. I want my kids to hear me say “damn it!” without feeling like they’re witnessing something wrong or immoral. I don’t want to attach undue significance to something that’s relatively minor in the grand scheme of life.

We have rules in place, and my kids are aware of them. They understand that swearing is generally considered adult language, and they should try to opt for less harsh words when possible. I’ve explained that making a habit of swearing can lead to slips in inappropriate contexts—like school—where I won’t be able to shield them from the repercussions.

My husband and I never use curse words to insult anyone. Our family values revolve around kindness and constructive communication, and cursing doesn’t fit into that framework.

Navigating Social Interactions

I’ve dedicated a lot of time to help my kids navigate social interactions, discussing what’s acceptable in private versus public settings. For instance, they know they can be silly and announce bodily functions in the safety of their room but should refrain from doing so in the school library. Kids are capable of making situational decisions, and I trust mine to choose their words wisely.

I believe this approach will demystify swearing while promoting moderation. However, it might also land me in the principal’s office if one of my kids forgets their manners at school. Only time will tell.

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Conclusion

In summary, I’m open to my kids swearing in our home because it normalizes language without demonizing it. We have guidelines in place to help them navigate when and where it’s appropriate, fostering an environment of understanding rather than shame.

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